Walking With A Ghost
by IrisAyumi
Summary: When Rachel dies and comes back as a ghost, she doesn't know what to do. That is, until she discovers that Quinn can see her. Question is, will Quinn put their livelong rivalry aside to help Rachel?
1. I Used To Rule The World

**AN: Hey there! So, I wrote this story for the Glee Femslash Big Bang on livejournal. It's 24000 words long. The chapters will be around 2000 words at first, but longer later in the story. I've been obsessing with this story like a mad scientists, so... I'm mostly just really curious about what you think. Which leads to the following request. If you want my eternal gratitude, virtual cookies and an author who is motivated to update frequently, I would like to ask you to write a review! I most sincerely hope you enjoy. Fic title taken from Walking With a Ghost by Tegan & Sara. Chapter title taken from Viva La Vida by Coldplay ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything I may refer to.

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_~ I used to rule the world ~_

Rachel knew from the second she woke up that morning that something was wrong. She didn't know what it was, that vague feeling of queasiness in her stomach, her sixth sense on high alert. It started when she was lying on her bed without the slightest clue what chain of events had brought her there.

Then, she wasn't hungry at all, and even skipped breakfast, the most important meal of the day.

When she walked her 5 minutes to McKinley High she couldn't help but wonder if maybe her gut feeling actually was a bad sign, or just a way of her pent-up frustrations with Finn's absolute lack of romanticism and Glee's lack of showtunes to make themselves clear.

She decided on her usual tactics, bury it beneath optimism and hope, without which all would be lost in the world. Then, the first strange thing of the day happened.

She was on her way to her locker when it happened. The undeniably horrible combination of Karofsky and a lime slushie. Being target no. 1, Rachel was well aware of what was about to transpire. Karofsky never could resist. So she closed her eyes, held her breath and got ready for…

The bell rang. Rachel opened her eyes and turned around frantically. She might have hit someone, but didn't feel anything. She was supposed to have 5 more minutes until the bell, she was absolutely positive!

And 5 minutes couldn't have passed. She had a good set of lungs and she regularly trained them with breathing exercises, but as she blew out the breath she'd been holding she remembered her record being 2 minutes.

Karofsky was out of sight, and she was lacking the familiar feeling of a brainfreeze and dirty sweet bits of slushie sliding their way into her clothes. She looked down. No, nothing.

Then she realized she was **late**. She could kiss her flawless attention record goodbye now, because she, Rachel Berry, was late, for the first time in her life. She sighed, already both agonized and mystified by this day, before making her way to Spanish.

Others would have skipped the class altogether, she knew, but she wasn't others. The door was still open, she noticed, which meant Mr. Shue must have been running late as well. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she slipped inside the classroom and slid inside her seat, completely unnoticed.

The others were still talking amongst themselves of course, but the class fell dead silent when Mr. Shue walked in with red-rimmed eyes before slamming the door shut loudly. She caught a whisper behind her. "Do you think he fought with the red-head?"

But Mr. Shue's look laid down a blanket of silence over the classroom. His eyes went to Rachel's desk. Rachel smiled at him, but somehow, he seemed to not even notice the girl behind the desk. He breathed in deeply through his nose twice, and then unexpectedly, called out a few names.

"Kurt, Brittany, Puck, Tina, I'd like to speak with you right now. For the others, class dismissed." Rachel froze for a sly second, before making her way out of the class along with the others. After doubting a second she decided to wait for her team mates until they were done.

She was really, really curious what that was all about. She couldn't think of anything outside of Glee that Kurt, Puck, Brittany and Tina had in common, but if it were something Glee-related, Mr. Shue wouldn't have dared excluding her from it. He knew like no other what Glee meant to her.

She hadn't been waiting for very long when they came out.

"Hello!" Rachel started, but they walked past her without even so much as a sideways glance.

"I really wonder what he's so upset about," Tina stated. Rachel could hear Kurt's reply clearly.

"I'm sure he'll share it with us at the emergency Glee meeting next hour."

"Maybe his dog's sick," Brittany said before adding: "I don't like dogs, 'cause they don't like cats and they're mean to ducks and I like cats and ducks."

Then they disappeared around the corner, and Rachel wondered when her piercing, one of a kind voice had suddenly become inaudible. You see, there weren't many people out there who loved the spotlight and attention in general quite as much as Rachel. Thankfully, or the world would have been too small a place.

But Rachel wholly believed that even if negative attention wasn't favourable over good attention, it actually was favourable over no attention at all. And for a girl like her, few things were crueler and more horrible than being ignored completely, like now.

Devastation and hurt immediately pierced her chest. She'd been excluded from a Glee thing, the one thing that made her feel like she was part of something. She was the heart of Glee, the talented, fearless captain of the ship. Or at least the leader. She was the star.

The hurt went away, or at least beneath the surface, when she squared her shoulders. They couldn't exclude her from Glee. She'd be there next period, in the choir room, and someone had better have an excellent explanation for her.

She walked through the open doors of the choir room and went to sit on her usual seat. She spent the rest of the hour – unable to help herself - thinking about why nobody had told her anything, why the world seemed to be pretending that she wasn't there, in what eloquent manner she would make the guilt sprout up inside of her team mates, and when the bell finally rang, she was in full on battle mode.

The familiar faces of her fellow members of Glee club walked in, one by one, none of them acknowledging the presence of the breezing brunette in the corner. Mr. Shue walked in and closed the door while 2 seats were still empty, her favourite and her least favourite team mate had yet to join them, Finn and Quinn.

Mercedes beat her to the punch, saying: "Wait, we're not all there yet. We're still missing Finn, Quinn and Rachel."

"What? I'm right here, Mercedes. Look no further," Rachel said quickly but nobody minded her. Before she could say more, Mr. Shue said to Mercedes: "I know, they're not coming."

He scraped his throat and that look appeared again on his face. Defeated. Lifeless. Infinitely sad. He looked at the pupils, the students, the kids from Glee club, and then finally started speaking.

"I'm afraid Finn is too upset to join us now. Quinn is with him for moral support, but he got some really bad news today. News that is going to be a blow for all of you as much as it was for Finn, or myself. It concerns Rachel."

Rachel sat up. Nobody turned to look at her.

"There's been… a horrible accident concerning Rachel and her fathers. A car crash. One of her dads is relatively fine, one is still lying injured in the hospital, but Rachel… she didn't make it. She was dead the second they crashed."

It was silent for a few short moments, before Mercedes said: "Hold on. Wait. Like, dead-dead? No hope? Rachel is dead?"

"She is," Mr. Shue said in a soft voice.

Gasps and squeaks went through the group, and one emotion was gripping everybody now. Shock. Rachel blinked.

This was absolutely and utterly ridiculous. She knew she wasn't stupid - not according to her 3.9 GPA she wasn't – but she honestly just really didn't get the clue of this really weird practical joke.

Was it Mike or Tina who had thought of this? Asians always did have strange sense of humour. Perhaps Artie. He managed to be both positive, yet have a strange morbid side to him. She shot her teammates a look.

She had to give it to them, she'd thought she was the only one in Glee who could once get in to the biz as both an actress and a singer, but she saw that both Kurt and Tina could cry on demand like her.

Even Puck, Brittany and Santana were taking it seriously. Wait, were Santana's eyes moist? They were really pulling out all the stops, weren't they?

Of course, that was why Finn and Quinn weren't there. They would have ruined it. Finn unable to keep in is laughter, and Quinn unable to pretend she cared even in the slightest bit. Santana buried her head in Brittany's shoulder and, although it was kinda fun, Rachel thought it was best to put a stop to it now.

"I realize that some people have a more twisted sense of humour than others," she started, rising from her seat, "but this has gone on for long enough, and frankly Mr Shue, I believe it is highly irresponsible of you to sacrifice a Spanish class for a practical joke."

Tina broke a sob. Artie had trouble putting his arms around her, obstructed by his wheelchair, and he pulled her on his lap, without a second look from a still slackjawed Mike.

Kurt was blinking his red-swollen eyes feverishly, and Puck's face was aimed towards the ground before he suddenly jumped up, growled, kicked his chair and stormed out. Mr Shue was comforting Santana, Brittany and Mercedes.

Rachel was growing more and more annoyed, especially when it turned out that Puck couldn't pretend anymore either and left like that. She bet he was snickering with Finn and Quinn out there somewhere.

She walked to the front of the room, and it was then that she made the gesture that changed everything.

She tried to shake Mr. Shue's shoulder, but she felt nothing beneath her hands but air. She gasped and watched intently as, again, her hand passed straight through Mr. Shue's broad shoulders.

This had to mean that either Mr. Shue was literally untouchable, which was highly unlikely because Santana was clinging to him like she had no trouble touching him whatsoever, or she was untouchable, or she was crazy.

She ran to Mike and tried to smack him, tugged on Brittany's Cheerio's uniform, unsnapping one of Artie's suspenders, but her hand went through all of them, like someone who wasn't really there.

She stumbled back and realized that, if she wanted proof, this wasn't the place she would get it. No. Rachel turned around and ran, well, fled the scene, really.

She had a clear goal in mind and felt that her body didn't get tired from running at full speed. No stinging in her sides, no sweat, no racing heart – was it beating at all?

She didn't check, didn't want to know – she only stopped on her way to try and touch random strangers, or yell at them. It would have been embarrassing if they could hear her, but they didn't, so it was mostly just desperate.

She finally arrived at the sliding doors of the hospital. They didn't open. Rachel stared at the doors like they were kidding her. They were just normal, regular sliding doors. They always opened for her. They sensed people, or something alike, and after noting her presence they would open for her. But not now.

Nearly panic stricken, she started pacing in front of them, jumping, disappearing behind a corner before jumping out again, even trying to say "open sesame", but to no avail.

A mad idea came to her. She knew it was mad, but if she'd already gone mad – a real possibility – then what did it matter? She walked back several feet, swallowed thickly, closed her eyes and ran for the doors.

She felt like Harry Potter on platform 9 and three quarters. After counting to 20 in her mind, she opened her eyes and found that she was in the hospital.

Oh. Maybe the doors had actually opened after all.

It was a rather small hospital and on every floor there was a list with it's patients. On the 3rd floor she found the name of her father with his room number. Feeling nauseous, she went to his room.

The door was open, and she spotted her father, with her dad on his bedside. Both were sleeping, holding hands, tear streaked faces. She had seen enough and raced the stairs to the top floor.

Obstructed by a door again, she took a deep breath and felt barely surprised when she stepped through said obstruction, so she was standing in the hospitals morgue.

She walked past the slates, checking the tags. There, between Beckenbauer and Carlton, there she was. Berry, R. B. Rachel Barbra. Her breath stuck in her throat and she noticed her lungs weren't throbbing, no longer begging for air.

She kept holding her breath when she bended over and let her face slip through the blanket, trying not to think about what she was doing. She was met by her own face, but not like she knew it, mirrored. This was how other people saw her face.

Hopefully not like this, though, because she looked horrible. Asleep, but scarily pale. Probably cold, too, she couldn't tell. A thought occurred to her. Why not? Why, obviously, her essence had survived. And her body had, she was looking at it right now. Why not reunite them?

She already saw it happening in her mind, just like the movies. She laid down on the slate, slipping the rest of herself through the blanket, mirrored her body's position and waited. Myth busted. Nothing happened.

Disappointment struck her hard when she rose and didn't feel or see the blanket fall from her body. It was then that she was sure.

She was beyond hope. Rachel Berry had passed away.


	2. Misguided Ghosts

**AN: Hey everyone! Man, I got a lot of emails with Story Alert overnight! Amazing! Thank you all so much! It's so good to know people are liking this enough to follow it :) so, chapter 2: we find out Quinn's big secret. Still Rachel's POV, but we're switching next chapter to Quinn's, and I think we'll stay with Quinn's throughout most of the story. Chapter title taken from Misguided Ghosts by Paramore. I really hope everyone enjoys it. If you do, let me know with a review! If you don't, let me know with a review! ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or anything I may refer to.

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_~ Misguided ghosts ~_

She walked out without another look, through the streets, to her house, going through people, trees, cars – ironically enough – until she reached her own bed and laid herself down to think. What did this mean? What did this change? She knew the answer.

"Everything," she whispered. Her life was over, literally. All her hopes and dreams vanished. This would forever be her life, stuck in Lima, never getting to New York and making her dreams come true.

Everything she had ever wanted was now out of her reach before she had really gotten a chance to go on and get it. She felt like she was crying but no actual tears spilled from her eyes. Only sobs from her throat, while all the things she'd lost formed a horrible parade in her head.

She lost track of time with her sorrow, especially when nobody came home after a while, and in the dark, her optimism crumbled along with so many things that shaped her, and she mourned herself till dawn. At the end of it all, there was but one thing wrecking her mind.

_What was she still doing here?_

Shouldn't her essence have died with her body? She prided herself on never drinking, doing drugs or having sex or anything else that could be described as "sinful".

Frankly, if she didn't deserve to go to heaven, nobody did. Unless the Christians were right and all the Jews were damned from the beginning, which would be highly unfair, but even then she should be burning in hell.

In any case, she shouldn't have been stuck on earth like now. Was she supposed to let the world know her talent in vain before passing on to either heaven or hell?' She didn't know. What she did know was that she would never find anything out if she stayed in bed.

When her alarm clock went off, she sat up with a start. After trying to get her elliptical running – but failing to push the on button – she decided it didn't matter since she would never eat again anyway, never change.

She shook her head and left her home, not bothering trying to bring her bookbag. She would never make another test anyway. That was kind of good. No more tests. No more studying. Never the gratifying feeling of getting an A, never graduating…

She walked on. She had already gone through most things during the night, listing them in her mind, but the list grew as the small things added up to them. Walking barefoot on a newly mown lawn, tasting salt on your lips after swimming in the ocean.

That final bow, hearing nothing but cheers and applause… She suddenly found herself at school, the place her feet had automatically led her to. She checked the clock. First period started 5 minutes ago. She walked through the door and after a minute, she walked in her History class, unnoticed, of course.

She went to sit on her usual seat, and made notes in her mind in stead of on actual paper. After that, she tried the same thing in English, but had that class with Kurt, Mercedes and Brittany and Santana, who were casting such sad, horrible looks at her seat that it disturbed her focus a little.

During lunch she was planning on going to the choir room as for usual, although she didn't know what she was going to do there now, unable to touch something.

Being dead _really _ruined your day.

Once there, she saw that she didn't need to worry.

Apart from Puck and Quinn, the whole Glee club was there, whispering, scared to talk too loud, it seemed. Mr. Shue walked in. He looked sad and tired, but seemed to have pulled himself together overnight. He was carrying a radio.

He put the radio down with a clap and looked at the Glee club. He sighed.

"It will probably take some time to get over this. But we can't let it crush us, even though it's easy to, we can't. Last night, 2 of your friends stayed up all night and made this happen."

He turned on the radio and on came a presenters voice.

"And the girl—"

"Rachel," Quinn's voice caught him off. Rachel gasped, and wasn't the only one surprised.

"Right, Rachel. She was in your school's Glee club?"

"She was our star," Puck's voice said. Rachel's breath stuck in her throat again.

"Why are they on there? They didn't care for her! They didn't even like her!" Finn said, a little too loudly.

Mr. Shue stepped up. "They lost a friend just like you guys."

Kurt agreed. "Think about it. They did this. Nobody here was always nice to her, none of us really deserve it, if you're fair."

The radio went on, Quinn telling about what she'd meant for Glee club with Puck filling in some blanks.

"So why are you here?"

"To pay a tribute to her. Our own, personal Jewish icon."

"Alright, go for it guys. Here are Quinn Fabray and Noah Puckerman, with a tribute to the late Rachel Berry."

"This song is called Radio's in Heaven, we switched up the lyrics a little. This one is for our captain."

Rachel closed her eyes, and wished she were there. She knew somehow that it could be done, and when she opened them, she saw Puck and Quinn, Puck playing his acoustic guitar, and Quinn started singing in her soft, delicate voice.

_Your time has already come and I don't know why_

_The last thing that I had heard_

_you were doing just fine_

_It seems like just yesterday_

_I was dancing with you_

_Songs at Mr. Shuester's house_

_Well you taught us well, didn't you?_

_I hope I'm just like you_

It was impossible not to notice the change in lyrics, even for someone who didn't know the song. Rachel remembered hearing it once or twice when they were hanging out with the Gleeks, and someone's iPod was playing in the background.

After that, she'd looked it up, because it was infinitely romantic to her, the whole idea behind the song. And who was here singing it? Quinn, of all people. Though Noah joined in for the chorus.

_Do they have radios in heaven?_

_I hope they do_

_'Cause they're playing my song on the radio_

_And I'm singing it to you_

_And I'm singing it to you, ,you, ,you, ,you_

_You left before we had a chance to say goodbye_

_But that's the way life usually is_

_It just passes you by_

_But you can't hold on to regrets and you can't look back_

_So I'll just be thankful for the times that I had with you_

_I hope I'm just like you_

Quinn kept her eyes closed throughout the whole song. Usually Rachel would have commented that it was bad if you wanted to connect with the audience, but this was radio.

_Well, do they have radios in heaven?_

_I hope they do_

_'Cause they're playing my song on the radio_

_And I'm singing it to you, I'm singing it to you_

_If they don't have radios in heaven_

_here's what I'll do_

_I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you_

_I'll play it for you, you, you_

Puck changed up the rhythm, a light frown was etched on his handsome features. He let the last chord of the bridge ring while Quinn held her tone longer than was necessary, showing off.

Rachel kept in a snort. She was often guilty of showing off herself, and she wasn't a hypocrite. The key change went swiftly, and suddenly Quinn was singing a key higher.

_Tell me can you hear me now_

_if not, then I can try to sing real loud_

_What's it like up on the other side of the clouds?_

_I hope I'm just like you_

_I hope I turn out to be as good as you_

_And do they have radios in heaven?_

_I hope they do_

_'Cause they're playing my song on the radio_

_And I'm singing it to you, I'm singing it to you_

_And if they don't have radios in heaven_

_here's what I'll do_

_I can bring my guitar when my time is up and I'll play it for you_

_I'll play it for you, you, you  
_

It was quite the tearjearker, the song, not that something was wrong with that of course. When Puck strummed his final chord, Quinn let out a shaky breath, seemingly emotional, Rachel detected surprised.

Quinn opened her eyes, and hazel eyes locked with chocolate brown.

Rachel gasped. Quinn wasn't looking through her. The surprised look in the blonde's eyes gave her away. The radio cut to commercial and the presenter gave them his condolences before leaving quickly, taking full advantage of his short break, no doubt.

"That went great. We rock!" Puck said grinning, before stating: "I'm pretty freaking sure she heard that."

"Yeah," Quinn agreed. "She sure did."

As they walked to the elevator, Rachel was on Quinn's tail. In the elevator, Quinn was focused intently on the numbers that told her they were going down, until Rachel said: "…Quinn?"

Quinn cringed and Rachel squealed.

"I knew it! You saw me, you heard me! You can see and hear me!"

"Are you alright, Quinn?" Puck asked doubtfully.

"Alright? Alright? Noah, she is a psychic! She's gifted! You're more than alright, Quinn!"

"Ugh," Quinn said, before loudly – trying to get over Rachel's voice – saying: "Thanks Puck, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

"Why are you yelling? We're in a freaking elevator."

"Yes, Quinn, why are you yelling?" Rachel asked, grinning wildly.

"Oh, don't you start," Quinn muttered, before the 'bing' indicated they'd arrived downstairs.

"What?" Puck asked.

"Nothing. Ehm, Puck, I think I'd rather walk home, if that's okay. Get some air. It's barely a 15 minute walk."

"Are you sure?"

"Very."

Puck was still doubtful, looking at her concernedly.

"Do you need me to like, call someone or something? You don't seem normal."

Quinn sighed, trying to hide her annoyance.

"It's fine, Puck, I promise. Just need to get some air. See you soon."

"Yeah, take care alright?" Puck said.

When he walked away, Rachel sighed.

"I thought he was never going to leave. Now, I have several questions I would like to ask you, as you probably can imagine."

Quinn turned around, looking dead tired and worn out. She cringed again when she saw Rachel, and groaned: "Why does it have to be you? Can't I see, like, someone cool? Like Marilyn Monroe or Paul McCartney?"

"Actually, you will find that Paul McCartney is still very much alive, unlike me."

Quinn groaned again, exasperated.

"My point exactly. Why does it have to be you?"

"I am very sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid you have no choice in the matter. And don't pretend that everything you feel towards me is negative, because that radio performance just now proved otherwise. I am unsure where exactly all that heartfelt emotion came from, but I grant you my compliments. Now, do you have an explanation or are we both just lost in the dark here?"

"You're dead."

"I know."

"Well, that's a start. You died in a car crash last Sunday."

"I know. I saw my body."

Quinn wasn't sure how to reply to that and so she didn't. Rachel wasn't about to waste any time, though.

"You can see me, and hear me."

"Unfortunately, you're right."

"Why? How? Am I a ghost? Are you like Jennifer Love Hewitt in Ghost Whisperer? Are you psychic? Am I not really dead? Are you a witch?"

"This is so not happening." Quinn started walking from her, but Rachel caught up with her within a second.

"You can't do this! You're my only hope! Please, you must help me! You have to help! They always do on Broadway!"

"I don't have to do anything!" Quinn snarled at her, coming to an abrupt stop. "I'm not obliged to help anybody, least of all you! I don't owe you anything! This isn't one of yourstupid shows, this is my life! And let me tell you this, Berry, I didn't choose this… whatever, and if there's one person I didn't want to come and haunt me it would be you! You're dead, Treasure Trail! Stay dead, and act like it!"

Quinn decided to jump on a bus, and Rachel knew that at that specific moment, she wouldn't reach anything with Quinn. Quinn was tired and taken by surprise, probably upset, possibly emotional, and Rachel could do with some time to sort things out as well. So she gave Quinn a break. For now.


	3. Cycle, Recycle Revenge

**AN: New day, new chapter :) POV switch, it's Quinn's POV now. We discover a little bit more about her, and about her past with seeing ghosts. A lot of thoughts and flashbacks. Little Faberry dialogue. Still hope you like it, though! Thanks so much to everyone who has left a review. It really is the best and most addictive feeling in the whole world, and each and every review is thoroughly appreciated! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. If so, please leave a review to say so ;) if not, please leave a review to say why not! Chapter title taken from "Death and All of His Friends" by Coldplay.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I don't own anything I may refer to.

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_~ No, I don't want a battle from beginning to end_  
_No, I don't want to cycle, recycle revenge ~  
_

Quinn let herself fall on her bed, but found that she couldn't relax. She hadn't been able to since her… meeting with Rachel. In her mind, she projected Rachel on every crossroad, expected her to jump from behind every tree or car.

It was already growing to be too much for her. Even now, in her own room, she still felt on edge. She closed her eyes and massaged her temples with her fingertips in a vain attempt to alleviate some of the pressure. This day was simply too much for her.

First of all, all the emotions from yesterday she had yet to process. She'd been there… she and Finn had been the first ones to hear the news, because Rachel's dads thought it best to call him. Quinn was there with him, and Finn just… lost it.

She shuddered when she remembered the crazed look in his eyes. For a second she thought he was going to kill someone – Finn wasn't great with handling emotions, or controlling his temper – but thankfully, he settled for wrecking a bus stop and throwing a trashcan.

Vandalism, first class, of course. But Quinn thought it was good he expressed his feelings on inanimate objects. The kind that didn't feel pain.

Mr. Shue had told her to stay with him, make sure nobody – including Finn – got hurt. Despite everything, it scared her. _He _had scared her. When he stopped wrecking stuff, she called Kurt's dad, probably someone more equipped to handle Finn right now.

When she was home, Puck came by. He thought they should do something. Quinn almost cried – almost, but not quite – before agreeing and putting everything, all the messed up things she felt, in making a fitting tribute for Rachel.

She didn't know how Puck managed to get the radio performance, but it was perfect.

After pouring everything – more than she thought she had – into the song, she felt emotionally drained. Like an empty bucket, with only tears left that still needed to be cried.

Then she saw Rachel. There's so many people who die, why did Quinn have to see _her _out of all of them? Why did Rachel choose her? What went wrong? This couldn't have been the way it was supposed to go.

She grinned a sour grin. _She _went wrong. She saw Rachel. Rachel was there, but nobody saw her, nobody was supposed to. It was her own fault she saw Rachel. Or rather, the fault of the genes that made her a freakshow.

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**10 years earlier**

_"Mom, why is everyone crying?" Quinn whispered. She was clothed in black. Everyone was. She hated black._

_"I told you sweetie, because grandpa's dead."_

_"But why are they so sad?"_

_"Because they can never see him or talk to him again. They have to say goodbye now. They cry because they don't want to say goodbye."_

_"But he's sitting right there!" Allie said._

_Their mom took Quinn and her sister a little more to the back, looking around nervously before squadding down, getting on eye level with Quinn and Allison._

_"Listen, girls. I know you can still see grandpa, and so can I, and grandma, but nobody else can. We're… special. Sometimes when that person loves us and we love them back, or when there is a reason that nobody understands, we can see the ghost of those who died. Like now," she whispered, pointing Quinn's grandparents._

_"Grandpa is there, and we're gonna go and talk to him for the last time. He came to say goodbye, like most ghosts. But only the women of our family can see him. And nobody can know, it's our secret."_

_"Not even daddy?" Allie asked, wide-eyed._

_"Especially not your father. Now, are you girls alright?"_

_Both girls nodded, and she hugged them tightly before taking them to their grandfather. They went to sit around him._

_"Ah, my girls," he said. "I am afraid my time is up, but sure a whole lot of people have shown up today!"_

_Quinn stared at her grandmother, who was crying, along with most people._

_"Hi, dad," Quinn's mother said, smiling. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Better than ever," he replied with a smile._

_"I always thought I'd go first," Quinn's grandmother said before turning to her husband and adding: "But this is better. You can't take care of yourself, you can't even cook a decent meal."_

_He stared up at the ceiling, and said: "This is my cue. I have to go."_

_"Bye, dad," Quinn's mom told him. "Love you."_

_"You too, baby girl."_

_"I'll see you soon," Quinn's grandmother said strictly._

_"Of course, I'll be waiting."_

_"Say hi to God for me," Allie said._

_"I'm sure he says hi back."_

_Quinn hadn't wanted to say anything, but it just slipped from her, without a thought._

_"Also, angels."_

_"Ah, the best of heaven. I will. I'm sure they say hi to you too, Quinnie."_

_His smile never left his face as she watched him fade from her sight, disappearing into vague, bright lights that nobody else could see.

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_

**2 years ago**

_Quinn was 14, about to start her freshman year, and slowly realizing more and more about the real world out there. Also, she was dead set on finally getting to know everything about the forbidden subject. The permanent elephant in their home. Ghosts._

_"Mom, why can we see ghosts?"_

_"Quinn, honey…"_

_"Please, I just want to know. I think I need to know, or deserve to know. It's my gift too, right?"_

_"Yes, our curse."_

_"Mom, I can't decide what it is until I know more about it."_

_Judy Fabray stayed quiet for 2 full minutes._

_"We can see ghosts of people that mean a lot to us, or those of people who are supposed to be helped by you. In the first case, it's family often, blood relatives. In the second one, anyone is… game."_

_"Why are they here?"_

_"It depends, but usually unfinished business. They mostly want to say goodbye to someone, or in some cases they have a destiny yet unfilled."_

_"And we help them?"_

_"If we choose so, but usually not. It's very hard trying to be normal while talking to ghosts."_

_"Can they like, touch stuff?"_

_"Things after 24, or sometimes 48 hours. Then they are really grounded to earth. People however only when there is true love from both sides. Then, if they become more real to you, or if they feel very alive, you can touch them as well."_

_"Touch a ghost?"_

_"It's unusual but it happens. It's a little complicated, but I think it has to do with how real the ghost is to you. When it becomes less a ghost and more a real person to you. It's all part of the magic of true love."_

_It sounded vague, but Quinn would take it. Quinn would take anything. Her mom was no scientist, she didn't really know either, of course. Nobody had all the answers. So instead of pushing the matter, she asked:_

_"Why do we pretend it isn't there all the time? I mean, does Allie even know all this?"_

_"She doesn't." Quinn's mother told her sadly._

_"But you have to know where you come from! Allie deserves—"_

_"Allie doesn't want to know. She's like me in that, she wants to be normal. When she sees a ghost, she pretends that she doesn't. The ghost will never know and she won't have to deal with it."_

_"But why?" Quinn asked. She knew she was pushing it, but felt like this was important. An important part of who she was. Judy Fabray took the hands of her youngest daughter from across the table._

_"Quinnie, that's where you come from. This family excels in being normal. That is who we are. A good, Christian family. Think about starting your freshman year next month with everybody knowing you can talk to dead people. They'd laugh at you, or say you were a freak or crazy. We don't want that for you. Be normal, Quinn. Or at least try to be."

* * *

_  
Quinn Fabray, 16, has her arms beneath her head, lying on her bed. Tears were prickling behind her eyelids, but she wouldn't let them fall. She refused to get emotional over Rachel Berry. First, it was Rachel Berry. For real.

But secondly, she didn't think she'd be able to take the guilt. It wouldn't be _right _for her to cry about Rachel. Not after torturing the girl herself. And now there was nothing left to do to make it up.

_Yes there is. Talk to her._

No way. That right there was boundary she wouldn't be crossing.

_Really? Wouldn't it be better?_

Quinn sighed. She hated her conscience. It was so annoying so often. Maybe she wouldn't have a choice, and Rachel would just come after her, and haunt her. Ugh. Damn smurf. She was probably lucky Rachel had left her alone for this long.

She shot a look to her door, sure that the smurf would pop up right there. When she noticed that wasn't the case, she sighed again. This was driving her insane.

What if Rachel had moved on already? What if Quinn wouldn't have to deal with it at all? Her hope was probably in vain, but she clung to it anyway. At least she would try and enjoy the peace while it lasted. She turned off her light, decided to fall asleep.

She stayed awake the whole night long, waiting for Rachel, only to fall asleep at dawn.

* * *

When she woke up she was dead tired and felt cheated. Going through her morning routine, she realized she was the only one who had yet to see the rest of Glee club since the accident. How would everyone be coping? How was Glee ever going to get over this?

"Together," she said, stopping her motions. She wasn't sure how she felt about it, but it was obvious to her now. Something extreme happened. Something extreme would come from it.

Either Glee had been destroyed from the inside out, and Sue Sylvester would get what she wanted without even having to go to any more trouble, or Glee would get stronger, get over it. And since everybody wanted the second thing to happen, it was kind of likely. Wow.

What would that be like for Rachel? People bonding over her demise. Maybe she would be pissed that something like that had never happened while she was alive.

Quinn shot a look and the clock and realized that wasting time contemplating how Rachel Berry would feel wasn't smart if she didn't want to be late. She hurried through the rest of her routine and got in her car. She was well on her way when a wave of shock hit her when she heard a familiar voice.

"You shouldn't speed like that, Quinn. Slow down."

"I'm running late, and what's it to you? You're in zero danger. You're dead."

"You should leave earlier, then. I died in a car crash."

A painful silence arose, and Quinn clacked her tongue. Guilt. That was unfair, but still…

"Right, sorry about that."

"Slow down," Rachel said in a demanding voice.

When the needle dropped the brunette smiled.

"Now, get out of my car."

"I'm afraid that there's no chance of that happening, Quinn. You are – allow me to express myself rather dramatically here – my only hope. I have an intense questionnaire for you. I memorized it last night, of course, since I couldn't actually write anyth—"

"You can write," Quinn muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Ghosts, like yourself 'cause that's what you are, can't touch anything for the first 1 or 2 days after their death. Now you're past that mark, your manhands can touch anything they want."

"That is great news, Quinn! More ways to persuade you to help me with at least information and hopefully more. I can get on your nerves in other ways than only verbal, too! Thank you for this great news!"

"You're welcome. Now. Please leave."

"I can't, Quinn. You have to help me first."

"No I don't. Trust me, I don't."

"I'll convince you otherwise. Few people are more easily annoyed by me than you, and that is saying something, I'm aware. It won't be hard to drive you absolutely insane."

"Go for it. How is invading the privacy of my car working out for you?"

"Excellent, thank you! So nice that the law does not apply to me anymore. I'll be sure to thoroughly enjoy it! Now, since we are both here anyway, why can you see me?"

Quinn stepped on the gas. _4 more minutes_, she told herself.

"Did you just go through a red light?"

"…no?"

"Quinn! Just because I'm dead doesn't mean you should go put other people at risk!"

"Zip it, RuPaul! I'm sorry you're dead, but please, let me live my life."

Rachel bit her lip. She didn't think Quinn had ever hated her quite as much as right now. That was a harsh conclusion to come to, considering it was _Quinn _and she was _Rachel_.

"You'll cave," Rachel said. "You'll have to." And she disappeared from Quinn's car.


	4. Is There A Ghost In My House?

**AN: New day, new chapter! Christmas eve here. So, the whole thing is going to be 9 chapters. Tomorrow's chapter will be the last one that's over 2000 words. After that, they'll be over 3000 :) so yeah, I really hope you all like it. If you feel like a virtual chocolate chip cookie, review and make me sing my impromptu "yay, reviews!" song again while bouncing down the stairs excitedly. (Yeah, I can be like that.) Chapter title taken from Is There A Ghost? by Band of Horses. Awesome song. I say, awesome! So in this chapter... annoying!Rachel tries to make Quinn cave. And we see Judy. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything I may refer to.

* * *

**

_~ I could sleep, I could sleep  
When I lived alone  
Is there a ghost in my house? ~_

Quinn breathed in deeply through her nose. This day would be all kinds of ugly, she suspected. She suspected right. After this wonderful beginning, she walked inside McKinley High School. The first person she saw was Finn. He blushed when he saw her and pulled her aside.

"Hi, Quinn." She'd never get used to a huge guy like him acting shy or embarrassed. It was too weird.

"Listen, I've been wanting to talk to you, 'cause… I feel like I owe you an apology. I know I scared you Monday. I'm sorry for flipping out on you like that."

"Please, don't," Quinn interrupted him quickly. "Nothing to apologize for. You couldn't really help it either, so…"

"By the way, you and Puck were pretty awesome yesterday. Where did that come from? I'd kind of expect anyone there but you…"

His voice was layered with silent accusations and Quinn suppressed a wry smile. Of course. _She_ didn't care, not the cold hearted bitch who hated Rachel. Then she remembered how annoying Rachel had been this morning and remembered that no, she_ didn't _care.

"Yeah, well, thanks…"

"We're all doing a song at the funeral. Maybe we'll do that one, we don't know yet, but anyway, thought you should know."

"Thank you," she said earnestly. "What else did I miss? How is everyone… how are you coping?"

He shrugged. "Everyone is still kinda stuck denying it all…" he paused before adding: "I miss her. You know I told her I loved her? She didn't have a chance to say it back. It's just weird, it feels like she's on vacation or something…"

The bell rang, and they both fell silent for a second. Then, Finn said: "See you later," and turned around, quite forgetting that they actually shared their next class together. When Quinn sat down, she shot Finn a look, but he was just staring out of the window.

Class started, and Quinn got her books from her bag. However, looking up again, she got an awful surprise. Rachel was sitting on top of her desk, blocking her view effectively.

"Move over, manhands! You're blocking my view!"

"Since this was exactly the goal I wanted to achieve, I cannot, really. I'm afraid you're going to miss this class, Quinn. You will not be able to see anything because I am blocking your view, and don't think you'll be hearing much of it either."

"This isn't funny, Treasure Trail!" She hissed. Rachel looked at the guy sitting behind the desk next to her, who was gazing at her intently, mouth opened.

"What are you looking at, Karofsky? Your momma never told you it's rude to stare at people?"

Quinn's voice was so irritated and hostile that he looked down without a word.

"I'm afraid that soon, you're going to have to accept that you can't do that to me anymore. Get angry and intimidate me. You'll have to see the power switch here. I've got the power in this relationship now."

_Relationship?_

"Wipe that smug grin of your face, Berry. I'm trying to follow a class here."

"Trying and failing," Rachel said loudly. She begin to whistle a tune then, and kept humming and whistling for the rest of the class.

"Are you whistling Yellow Submarine?" Quinn asked in an incredulous voice. Rachel looked like she would have blushed if she had been alive.

"I am. It is quite a legendary song, you know. And the tune is more than a little catchy."

"You are such a freak," Quinn whispered.

"And you are so not, miss Ghost Whisperer?"

"Shhht!" She said, looking around hurriedly.

"People can only hear you. And you are making a fool out of yourself."

Indeed, many people were staring at her. She gave them all her deadliest gaze before turning it on Rachel, who said: "If looks could kill, it's a good thing I'm already dead!"

Rachel kept on whistling and Quinn finally kept quiet, afraid of more comments.

Right before lunch, Mercedes came to her.

"Hey, Quinn, we're going to the choir room to pick a song to perform."

"Okay, I'll be there in a few."

Mercedes hadn't left for 3 whole seconds when Quinn heard a familiar voice beside her.

"Is there a performance? A competition? Will you be competing? I dare doubt you can do it without me. Sure, we have quite some talent in our club, but someone must step up and truly be a captain. What is the setlist? Oh, you are determining it now, right? It should depend on the kind of competition, every single one is different, of course. What's it for?"

They were now at the choir room, and Quinn whispered, not looking at Rachel: "Your funeral."

Quinn walked in, and was relieved to note that it wasn't dead silent. Everyone was quietly talking amongst teach other. It was almost like normal, only… not. When everyone was there, Mr. Shue stood up.

"We narrowed down the choices to Eric Clapton's Tears In Heaven and Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. What do you think?"

Now it got quiet, before Tina said: "I think that Rachel would have liked Tears in Heaven. It's, you know, epic and really appropriate." A murmur of agreement came from the group, and Rachel said:

"What? I'll be the first one to say that Tears in Heaven is a beautiful song, but on my funeral, I prefer something a little more positive and hopeful! Quinn, please help. Tell them that I want Here Comes the Sun!"

Quinn tried ignoring her, but Rachel was persistent as always.

"Tell them! It's my funeral, after all."

Quinn stood up, and all eyes were on her. She tried to reign in her annoyance, since Rachel had a good point. It was her funeral.

"I disagree. I think Rachel would have liked Here Comes the Sun."

"Yeah, cause you knew her so well," Santana sneered.

"And you did?"

"I don't pretend otherwise."

"Hey now," Mr. Shue said, "Quinn, why would you think that?"

"Well… we all know that Rachel was a real optimist. She wouldn't have wanted such a sad song like Claptons, but something more… positive, and hopeful."

The last word did it. She heard Finn: "That does sound like her."

"Yeah, it does," Puck agreed.

"So, Here Comes the Sun?" Mr. Shue asked. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Here Comes the Sun it is."

"Thanks," she heard Rachel's voice when she sat back down. From the corner of her mouth, she whispered back:

"You're welcome. It's your funeral."

* * *

After that, Quinn once again committed herself to the difficult task of ignoring Rachel Berry. The only time she really had trouble with it, was when Mrs. Jackson asked her a question and Rachel was blabbering through it.

Quinn made the mistake of asking her to repeat it in a very, very loud voice. Her temper overtook her, and she hissed at Rachel: "If you weren't already dead, I would do the job myself!"

Rachel thought that this was so harsh she got a hurt look on her face and seemed to almost slip away.

_Well, good._ Quinn thought angrily, but before the second minute had passed, a sour feeling bubbled in her stomach.

Guilt. Ugh.

Guilty for lashing out at the poor dead girl. It reminded her all too much of the quarrels she used to have with Finn. They would fight, get angry, she would say something that would hurt him, he would pull back and after the guilt kicked in she'd apologize and it would all be fine again.

Already she felt the strong urge to voice an apology make it's way to her mouth, like word vomit.

_Don't,_ she told herself. _Don't apologize. Don't give her that. She had it coming._

Her mouth opened. "Rachel?" She felt like a moron, but Rachel appeared beside her.

"Ah, I see you have finally learned my first name! What can be the reason you call it out now?"

"Nothing," Quinn said, already regretting her impulse.

"Somehow I doubt that. You called me. Here I am. What is it?"

"How did you get here?"

"I have no idea. You're supposed to be the one who has all the answers."

"How did you come to that con—"

"Your point?"

Quinn bit her lip, but decided to grant her whirling insides a little peace.

"Sorry."

"Apology accepted," Rachel said, nearly glowing. Quinn looked up to see everyone busying themselves with an assignment she had completely missed, and thought that this whole thing was bound to ruin her GPA.

* * *

At last, the final bell rang. Quinn hurried home, eager to escape the force controlling the day. She couldn't believe it, but again, she felt emotionally drained. It had a lot to do with the horrible atmosphere at school, like everyone was going to cry at the drop of a hat.

It was making the air harder to breathe, her mouth dry, her throat thick. It was awful.

She heard a knock, and when she called for the other to come in, her mother walked hesitantly towards her to sit on her bedside.

"Are you alright honey? You seem really tired these last days, is everything okay?"

Quinn doubted, but knew she had to get it off her chest, and this was her best option. Her only option, really.

"Mom, do you remember the girl from school who died?"

"I do. Rachel, right? That short girl from your Glee club?"

"Right. Well, something happened."

"What is it, sweetie? Is it something with… our thing?"

"Yeah, I…" her voice went to a raw whisper. "She came to me."

"When?"

"Yesterday, after the radio performance, but it already seems like forever."

"Young people are often not yet ready to leave earth behind."

"That's fine, but does she have to cling to me?"

"She's got nobody else to cling to, that is the problem, Quinnnie. Was she a good friend of yours?"

Quinn snorted. "No. Not even a little."

"That's… difficult."

"I hate her."

"Maybe you can work on that, then?"

"Oh, no, no. You don't know her. She's hell on earth, I can't even… she's so annoying, it's almost impossible to get how someone can be so annoying. Every time we talk, I want to punch her."

"Then it's a good thing you can't. Quinn, you know you've been lucky. Allison and I had to deal with all this much earlier in our lives. Are you going to ignore her or help her?"

"Ignore her if I can and hope she'll give up… if she can. She's like, really persistent."

"Are you sure, Quinn? You know, there may come a time where you'll regret not helping her."

"Not her. Just, not her."

"If you're sure, I wish you good luck, sweetie. I hope it's the right choice."

She kissed Quinn's forehead before leaving her daughter's room.

* * *

Quinn woke with a start. 2:35 AM. What the hell? Why was she awake?

Her stomach dropped.

"Rachel?"

"How'd you guess? Sorry, I think I broke your lamp here…"

"It was already broken. Why are you here?"

"I don't know!"

"Then stop it, you creepy stalker!"

"No, I actually don't know. I just appeared here. I don't have to sleep anymore, and I was trying to think of ways to persuade you to talk to me and suddenly I was here… Oh, inspiration!"

"What?" _That can't be good._

"I'll just make myself comfortable… there. You know Quinn, I have ways. And benefits. And now, I have a strategy."

Quinn groaned. "What is it, mastermind?"

Rachel opened her mouth, and out came the lyrics of 'I Feel Pretty' from the West Side Story.

"You can't be serious!"

But she was. After that, Rachel sung 'I Will Always Love You'. After 3 Celine songs, she went to Defying Gravity. After that, Don't Cry For Me Argentina. She kept it up all night while Quinn kept twisting, turning and biting her pillow to keep her from screaming.

Rachel never left Quinn's side from that night on. Wherever Quinn went, Rachel went. During school, at Glee, at home and anything inbetween. Rachel saw Quinn growing more tired and weary looking, and knew Quinn would crack. The only matter was when.

It was the third night that Rachel spent singing to Quinn. The first night consisted of Rachel's personal favourites, second night the most annoying pop songs that got stuck in your head of the last 6 years, and now she was going for the classics. She suddenly got a great idea for a song.

"Oh, you'll love this one!"

Quinn groaned heartily, and Rachel sang:

_"Come all without, come all within_

_You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn_

_Come all without, come all within_

_You'll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn!"_

"No, not that one!" Quinn begged, but Rachel was absolutely merciless. After 3 more lines, Quinn interrupted her.

"Fine, you win."

"I win?"

"I'll help you. Starting tomorrow. But just… Let me sleep now? Please?"

She sounded so desperate, Rachel had really outdone herself.

"Alright. Sleep well, Quinn. I'll see you tomorrow."

Quinn was asleep within less than a minute, worn out. Rachel congratulated herself. She did it. And hopefully, tomorrow she'd finally get a couple of answers.


	5. I Guess There Might Not Be Too Many

**AN: Merry Christmas! So, this chapter is the last short one. However, I should warn you, after monday I won't be able to update for a full week. I'm celebrating New Year with family... in the middle of nowhere. Well, anyway, chapter! Quinn starts talking to Rachel, and they form... a friendship, sort of. Like I said before: I have already finished this story, and I'm working on the next one right now, which is also kind of supernatural. I'm Dutch. I really need a beta. If you're interested, please reply, I don't care how :) lots of dialogue here. On another note, did I mention, I love reviews? :D thanks to everybody who has reviewed so far. **

**To answer some questions: we won't find out if anyone outside Quinn's family is able to see ghosts, but in my mind, there are others out there. We just don't meet them. I thought about Quinn having to explain to the Glee club that she can see Rachel, but it really would have killed the story, I think. If you're realistic, it's nearly impossible to prove, and people eventually would start talking so that everybody else would find out. Gleeks can't keep secrets :P and if that happened, well, I really didn't feel like writing about Quinn in a mental institution.**

**So, this is me kindly begging for more reviews, since reviews are what keeps me updating, and sometimes, what inspires me to write ;) enjoy the chapter!**

**Chapter title taken from Angels of Silence by Counting Crows :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, I don't own anything I may refer to.

* * *

**

The next day, Rachel followed Quinn around, but silently, very careful not to get on her bad side. It was a reminder for her. Not that Quinn would forget. It wasn't until after school that Quinn gestured for her ghost to come along.

_Might as well make this as comfortable as possible_, Quinn thought. So she took Rachel back home, to her room, and sat down on her bed. Rachel went to sit across from her, and Quinn sighed.

"What do you want to know?"

"Am I a ghost?"

"Yes, for lack of a better word. You absolutely are."

"How come you can see me?"

"It's in my family. The women in our family can see ghosts, sometimes. Definitely when it's family, it's the blood thing, and outside of that sometimes."

"When?"

"When we're meant to."

"You are… meant to see me? But why?"

"Because faith has a cruel sense of humour," Quinn snarled. "Anything else?"

"Can I touch whatever I want now? I know I can't eat or sleep already…"

"No people, unless you love them and they love you, or something. It's pretty complicated, and I don't really get it. It had something to do with how real you are to them."

"Oh… Maybe I'll think of something later, but that's it for now."

"Alright. Well, go then. Go and make out with Finn or something."

"I can't," Rachel said shyly, looking down. Quinn repressed a wave of annoyance.

"Listen, you don't have to worry about it. I know for a fact that he loves you. A lot."

"Yeah, so do I," she muttered in reply.

Quinn was silent, then gasped.

"You don't love him?" That was a pretty serious confession. And unexpected at that.

"You cannot be that surprised, Quinn. We're too young! These High School dramas aren't love, they are discoveries mixed with hormones!"

"He loves you!"

"Guys are different."

"That's just bullshit!"

"Is it, Quinn? I imagine Puck has said the words to you too, by now. What did you reply to him? That you were a love for the ages? Did you even reply at all?"

Quinn's blush was answer enough.

"That's what I expected. Do not mistake me for a pessimist, I believe in true love. But at 16? My hand went straight through Finn the other day!"

"It's unfair of you. Keeping him around like that, while he didn't know all this."

"I didn't force him into anything, and I never established a relationship with him."

"But he thought otherwise, and you know it! What about honesty?"

Rachel snorted.

"Oh yes, I am very interested in what _Quinn Fabray_, the girl who got pregnant from her boyfriend's best friend, has to say to me on the subject of honesty."

"And I learned from it! I thought you'd really be into the whole honesty thing."

"I am, but what's the use of breaking his heart when we are both content with the way things are?"

"Because he didn't know! You don't even deserve him."

"Perhaps I don't. Perhaps he hasn't been completely honest with me, either, I can't be sure. What does it matter now? We'll never find out, and I will have died without ever finding my one true love."

Quinn bit her lip. She had no way of imagining what Rachel felt like, she knew that.

"Have you… accepted it all?"

A slight frown deepened on Rachel's expression.

"I'm working on it. I want to leave too, you know, it's not just you that wants me gone, but I want to at least be there for my funeral. Who hasn't ever imagined their own funeral? Wondering who would be sad, who strong? I wonder how many people will cry! I couldn't believe the woefulness in Glee the other day. We all know Tina cries at the drop of a hat, but Santana shedding tears! I could hardly believe my eyes!"

Quinn smiled. "Santana's a softie. Nobody outside of Brit and me is supposed to know, but your death kind of ruined that."

"There is something I had not expected! But it does explain a lot."

Rachel paused, remembering something she had wondered about.

"Is she… dating Brittany? Promise I won't tell," she said with a weak smile.

"No." Quinn replied.

"Oh, it's just seemed—"

"They just have lots of sex," Quinn added.

"…Aha. They always do seem to be so… touchy together."

"They were those girls who hung around in the shower when everybody had already finished."

"You say that like those girls are in every team."

"Of course. It's a High School cliché. Hot cheerleaders having sex together."

Rachel stared blankly before nodding.

"Alright."

They were quiet for a few short moments, until Quinn asked:

"Rachel, what are you going to do now?"

Rachel eyed Quinn pleadingly.

"No way."

"I know this situation is far from ideal, but the problem is that I literally have nobody else to talk to!"

"Take a vow of silence," Quinn offered. "It can only do you well."

"Quinn, please."

"Rachel, you yourself said it! Far from ideal!"

"You can't just leave me hanging!"

"Oh, can't I? Watch me!"

"Come all, without. Come all, within. You—"

"No! Stop it! You can't blackmail me into talking to you!"

"Oh, can't I? Watch me!" Rachel mocked in an uncharastically ill-spirited voice.

They paused, both calming down. When Rachel trusted her voice not to get so mean again, she tried pleading again.

"Please, Quinn. Think about it. If we're not fighting over boys and forget that we are complete and polar opposites and on other sides of the social ladder, am I really all that horrible to have to deal with on a regular basis?"

"Honestly?"

"Am I worse than Jacob Ben Israel?" Rachel said in a desperate voice.

Quinn paused long enough to have Rachel almost in a full-fledged panic attack, before saying:

"Maybe you're not. You both are creepy and annoying, but maybe you're not as bad as him."

"Shall I try to make myself as less annoying as possible? I can be quite entertaining, you know! You'll find out, sure enough."

"Well, are you going to leave me a choice?" Quinn replied, exasperated.

"Not really," Rachel admitted. "I'm not opposed to mild stalking."

"Alright. But let me tell you, this is never going to work."

"What exactly cannot work?"

"You and me and… you know, talking, hanging out…"

"Being friends?"

"Ugh, please don't say that out loud."

"Friends?" Rachel said, sticking out her hand.

Quinn pondered the offer for a second. "Not enemies," she amended, and Quinn' hand passed through Rachel's.

* * *

The next day at school, Quinn almost choked on her apple when Rachel suddenly appeared and said: "Boo!"

"That is such a cliché. You make a horrible ghost."

"It is a cliché, because it is simply irresistible. How are you doing, Quinn?"

Quinn rolled her eyes, but whispered: "I'm fine, thank you."

"Good! Who is taking the lead on Here Comes The Sun?" Quinn thought for a second.

"I thought Tina and Puck."

Rachel nodded in response. "You should know, I have high expectations."

"Yeah, that doesn't really surprise me," Quinn said. She smiled and shook her head, before stealing a sidewards glance at Rachel. Distracted, she committed a horrible foul.

She bumped into Sue.

Quinn froze and then decided to try and flee. It didn't work, of course it didn't. Sue turned on her heel, breezing, looking not unlike a wild animal. "Preggo!" Quinn froze again, and Rachel froze alongside her this time. Sue stormed up to her.

"You've got some nerve, Q, trying to hurt me so deeply like that by bumping into me like some rude Neanderthal and then trying to run away like the coward that you are. What'd you think, I'd spare you because you're Head Cheerio? You should know better."

"I do. Sorry, coach Sylvester."

"Late apology. Damn shame they forbid clubbing the students. It would be most appropriate here. Go fetch me a new protein shake to replace the other."

"But… you didn't have a protein shake."

"That's the problem here. My hand is still empty. I'm waiting, Q. Fetch."

"Be right back, coach Sylvester."

Quinn turned around and went to obey her coach's order, when she heard Rachel.

"That was terribly unfair!"

"No it wasn't. It was coach Sylvester."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Get a damn protein shake, of course."

"You're going to do what she asked?"

"She didn't ask me anything, it was an order. It wasn't a teacher, it was Sue."

"Alright. But she is evil. Someone ought to put her in her place."

Quinn snorted. "That's true, but I guess we all value our lives to much."

Rachel stayed behind while Quinn stalked off to fetch Sue her shake.

They all valued their lives too much. But how did she value her death?

The bell rang. Quinn had class, and Rachel had decided to leave the girl for an hour.

At a leisure pace, Rachel strolled towards the only office she'd never been in – with almost everyone on the staff she'd had to settle something at one point in history or another, but she knew to avoid this one – and enjoyed having the time to take advantage of empty hallways.

She turned left, rounded the corner, and walked straight through a door with a wide grin on her face. She actually did not have the guts to do this, but thought that if she forgot about that and just focused on what Quinn would think of this, she could do it.

Sue was off, making a few sophomores cry, and she had the time. She went to work, almost meticulously taking apart every trophy in the room, violently destroying them all. No alarms went off, thankfully, she wouldn't have put it past the coach.

After that, she ruined Sue's private gym equipment by drowning it in Sue's stored protein shakes that she found in Sue's private fridge. She thought that she had done enough damage, and sped out. Even has a ghost, she had zero interest in hanging out there any longer than was absolutely necessary.

4 minutes later, the bell rang, signalling the end of the class. She sped to Quinn's classroom, and after whispering Quinn's name, she realized that it was absolutely ridiculous for her to whisper. She shouted instead: "Quinn! Over here! Come to Sue's office!"

Quinn, who didn't have the luxury of being able to yell something back, just turned and nodded slightly, just enough for Rachel to notice. Quinn made her way to Sue's office, and Rachel was immediately beside her.

"I would like to advice you to hide, she will be more upset than you have ever seen her, but I would have for you to miss this moment. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so seize it, like I did. The she comes! Hide!"

Quinn practically leaped behind the lockers, and Rachel chocked back a nervous giggle that would ruin the badassness of her actions, when Sue, like a lion, stalked to her office, looking like a lioness. She opened the door – ah, there was the alarm – took a step inside and…

A loud, banshee-like screech erupted from the room, and Sue emerged, now more like an elephant on warpath. She seized the first freshman in her sight, and threw it against the locker, before pushing Azimio.

"Was it you, you brainless excuse of a human being? Did you think this is funny?" She screamed, smashing a slushie from his hands and storming away, probably to Figgins' office.

"What the hell did you do?" Quinn said in a soft, astonished voice.

"The door is open, Quinn. I would advice you to go look for yourself." Rachel was positively beaming with pride, knowing that Quinn was going to love this. When the blonde looked, her mouth dropped.

"Oh my god!" She screeched, before looking back at a widely smiling Rachel.

"Did you do this?"

"I don't know who else you could suspect. Yes, Quinn. This ravaging was all done by me."

"But why?"

Rachel fell silent at that. Then, in a doubting voice, like she hadn't even thought about it until now, she said: "I'm not sure… because I could, I guess, but mostly because I just really didn't like the way that she treated you this morning, it was inexcusable. That was at the very least the direct catalyst."

Quinn couldn't help it, shyness made it's way through to her, and a very light blush formed on her cheeks. "Thank you for that. Never thought I would see this day."

"It gets better."

"How?" Quinn replied eagerly, and Rachel showed her the book.

"Is that…"

"The diary of the one and only Ms. Sue Sylvester, fully to our disposal."

"I have to hand it to you, Berry. I didn't think you had it in you. That was actually… pretty badass. Puck would be proud. You get coolpoints for this."

Silence.

"You do cool points? That is decidedly uncool of you, Quinn."

"Well yeah, don't mind it," Quinn said quickly. Her blush deepened a little. "Give me that!"

She reached for the diary, but Rachel jumped back before Quinn's hand even had a chance of passing through her.

"No. You can have it when we're home, and we'll read it together. I promise not to read it until then."

Realizing this was the best deal she was going to get, Quinn grudgingly agreed.


	6. Heaven Forbid

**AN: Hey people! So, updates are a little uncertain from now on. Either way, I'll be back in a week, and returning to the daily updates by then. So, you remember the incident with Sue and Rachel's revenge? More of that coming up! Yay for 3000+ chapters :P still in search of a beta, small reminder ;) now, to get to the important parts: Reviews like woah! Even when I say it every time, I don't say it enough: reviews are what keeps me going, it's what drives me not to give up when I'm stuck and sure that nobody's ever gonna like it. Every review is read, re-read and thoroughly appreciated! Also, at the end of the chapter, I'm leaving an idea for my next story behind. Because it's kind of AU and weird and supernatural I keep on wondering if, even if I write the story well, it's too much, too not-Glee. So I'd love your opinion and any ideas :)**

**Read, review, hopefully enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything I may refer to. (This includes the song Heaven Forbid by the Fray, where I got the chapter title from!)

* * *

**

_~ Heaven forbid, you'll end up alone  
And don't know why ~  
_

When Quinn got home, Rachel was sitting on her bed.

"Hi," Quinn said casually, closing the door behind her.

"Hello, Quinn," Rachel replied. There was a short silence before Rachel said:

"So, are you ready?"

"Ready… the diary! I am! Do you have it with you?"

She sat down next to Rachel, and Rachel grinned, taking the diary from behind her back.

"Here we go!"

After reading about 4 entries, Rachel was stunned.

"She is actually like that! There is no soft side, nothing private, her diary talks about hating Mr. Shue and your knee quivering. This is absolutely unbelievable."

"Not really, I guess, but maybe we'll—" she gasped.

"I've got it! Go a couple of months back, you know, when she had her mental breakdown and all the Cheerio's were bawling their eyes out!"

Rachel turned a couple of pages, and found it. They read the page quickly and looked at each other.

"So, if this is right…" Rachel started.

"Sue had a meltdown after Mr. Shue broke her heart," Quinn said softly. "Now that is unbelievable. That is the worst couple I have ever heard of. Including you and Puck."

"I'm not going into that comment, but I would like to say that you should not be so harsh. Opposites attract, everyone knows that. That is why unexpected couples can work."

They both fell silent for a few seconds, before Quinn spoke up again.

"Yeah, but really? Sue and Shue? Even their names sound wrong together!"

Rachel had a retort for that too.

"Quinn, you used to date Finn. Quinn and Finn. Your names sound horrible together too. How are you going to find a portmanteau for that? It was doomed to fail from the start."

Quinn laughed.

"Touché, I'll give you that. But I can't believe she fell for him. It's just… so weird. And… so gross."

Quinn shuddered, and Rachel frowned.

"He is quite handsome, and very attractive, especially while singing. You can't really blame her."

"He's got to be your type, I guess. I mean, you had a massive crush on him."

"How did you know that? That is private!"

Quinn snorted. "Private. Nothing about you is private. Everyone knew. You got that look in your eyes that you get whenever you're crushing on someone."

"I get a look?"

"Wide-eyed, helpless, hopeless," she looked at Rachel and shrugged apologetically. "Slightly desperate."

"That sounds… dreadful!"

"Oh, it is. It's freaking creepy, you look scary then."

"I know I can be intense and thus intimidating, but I believe that creepy is taking it too far!"

"Finn checked under his bed every night while I was living with him. Just to see you weren't hiding under there somewhere. He never said so, but…"

She shot Rachel a meaningful look. "He didn't have to. I knew."

This ended the discussion. Rachel had, so painfully obvious, no retort to this, so Quinn closed Sue's diary with a clap. The blonde girl took a deep breath, pushing back her nerves.

"Enough about Sue. What about you?"

"What? What about me?"

"I have been wondering," Quinn started, choosing her words carefully, "You made me think. About life, and death. Important things. And I wonder how you feel, like, what will you miss most? And what do you wish you could have been alive for?"

"That is… quite personal information you are inquiring about, Quinn," Rachel said in an unsure voice.

Quinn shrugged and just looked at Rachel, waiting. After a while, Rachel began.

"It's a lot. Small things, like tasting food or learning a new dance or participating in a particularly well sounding Glee song. I'll miss that, but also big things like my dads, and Finn. Talking with them, laughing with them, everything. About the rest, I have been robbed from my dream of getting out of Lima and reaching my full stardom potential, becoming famous. But there is just so much, so much more, like—"

Rachel's jaw clenched, like she was keeping the words in.

"What, what is it?" Quinn asked, curiosity spiked.

"I'm jealous of you, Quinn" Rachel said in a quiet voice, "for throwing it away. You have lived a little, at least. Even if you were drunk and cheating on your boyfriend, at least you did do it."

"What?"

Rachel threw Quinn a not so subtle, meaningful look.

"Oh, that. But you did it with Jesse, right? If you're worried because it didn't feel good, trust me, it hurt like a bitch with me, so you don't have to. "

"No, I didn't. I know it's the logical thing to assume, based on my behaviour, but I have never done _that _with Jesse. And now I regret it, because I will never get a chance to do so again! If the choice had been doing it right then and there or dying a virgin… I probably would have gone through with it. That is the part that I fear will hunt me mostly."

"More than the stardom part?"

"Yes, more than anything. It seemed so logical, so basic! It was second on the list, after finding true love. But that is so different, so incomparable. I know I always come off like I believe in true love at the age of 17, but I am quite realistic, I assure you. Sex is something I should have experienced already. True love usually doesn't cross your path until you get older, that would have been too much to ask. But sex? It should have happened. I'm sure of it."

Rachel's face was lacking tears but when she closed her eyes, a sob choked it's way through, and Quinn was overtaken by an unexpected sensation. A desire to comfort the torn girl across from her. How to do that without touching her?

Quinn laid down on the bed and said: "Rachel." Rachel opened her eyes. Quinn padded the spot beside her.

"Lay down beside me." Hesitantly, Rachel did so.

"At least you are not alone, even in death. Some ghosts just wander around without ever finding someone who can see them, or hear them. You've got even more, I mean, you've got me. And I'm better than some random stranger. That's a good thing."

"Quinn, you don't have to produce guilty lies for my sake. I'm not stupid. We have only truly spoken like this for what, 4 days?"

"You've got me," Quinn said sternly. "I'm here with you, aren't I? Pay attention. You've lost it all, but you've gained me."

For the first time, Quinn really wished that she could touch Rachel, just because she seemed to need it so much. She hadn't touched anybody in days. How weird that must be.

She decided then that she would try to be nice to Rachel. Rachel was a good person, she should try to treat her well. And it couldn't hurt her rep anymore, anyway.

* * *

Rachel stayed with Quinn that night, like every night so far. Rachel would sit down somewhere and watch Quinn while she went to sleep, usually singing to her. She could almost watch Quinn's muscles relax when she started to sing.

It was fascinating to her, the coldest, hardest girl in school in such a relaxed and soft state. Quinn had a very soft snore and an occasional unclear grunt or murmur. Quinn also woke up each night. Her eyes would open, and sometimes she'd stare at Rachel, sometimes she wouldn't, but she'd never speak a word, just waiting to fall asleep again.

Rachel wondered if she should leave, but she rather liked watching Quinn sleep, and Quinn didn't complain if Rachel kept up the singing. It was weird, Rachel knew that, but better than the painful nights spent listening to her fathers weep.

* * *

Rachel stuck with Quinn the next day passively. Her goal was observing Quinn and learn more about her. Quinn was at first taken aback by Rachel's strange switch in attitude, but then tried to take advantage of it and enjoy the silence.

She had trouble enjoying it, though. It felt too much like something was lacking, waiting to be filled. It was almost a relief when Rachel's attitude did another 180. The reason behind it, was not so pleasant though.

It came in the form of a slushie facial, thanks to Karofsky. He tried to high five Azimio, but missed. Quinn simply walked to the nearest bathroom. Rachel appeared beside her.

"Why did he slushie you? What did you do?"

"Nothing, I'm in Glee, that's enough of an excuse. You should know that better than anyone. They probably just really wanted to slushie someone, but some vague sense of guilt about throwing a slushie at someone who's mourning stops them from attacking the others. But they still think I've only ever hated you, so I'm free game."

She started wrenching her hair methodically, the red semi-fluid was noisily dripping on the ground.

"Yes, but… you are you. You are Quinn Fabray, you're an institution. I thought everyone had accepted that!"

Rachel paused, before softly adding: "You don't hate me anymore?"

Quinn's frown morphed into a smile for a split second.

"'Course not. We're friends now, didn't you say so?"

"Right."

Quinn took a normal outfit from her bag, and noticed the look on Rachel's face.

"I'm really not that popular anymore, Rachel. That time is behind me, for good. I am a target too, so yeah, I carry around extra outfits.

Quinn stripped off her shirt and started rinsing the slushie from her upper body calmly, Rachel still staring at her.

"Your body has returned nicely."

"Thank you, it took some hard work. My stamina is slowly building again, too."

Rachel nodded, unsurprised. She had noticed the outline of toned muscles on Quinn's stomach.

"I still can't believe Karofsky slushied you, slushied _you _like that. I… well, never exactly made peace, but I accepted my fate very soon, but to put you through all that is unfair."

"It's High School, Rachel. It's life. Of course it is."

But just like yesterday with Sue, something had snapped within Rachel. The second that Neanderthal had dumped his drink over Quinn, Rachel only wanted one thing. Rachel wanted to get even with Karofsky.

* * *

When Quinn got to class, Rachel didn't appear beside her. Despite everything, she never really got into the class, when every 2 minutes her mind wandered and she checked the empty seat beside her. At the end of the class, Rachel came to her again.

"Quinn, would you do me the honours of accompanying me to classroom 249?"

Quinn couldn't really reply in the crowded hallway, but followed Rachel. Once outside the classroom, Rachel stood still and waited, so Quinn did the same. Before long, Karofsky came running around the corner, clutching a note, looking like a wild dog chasing a cat. Quinn arched her eyebrow.

"I write him a note to falsely convince him there are 17 freshmen here he can give a wedgie."

"Alright," Quinn said. "What did you do?"

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but instead barked a "Ha!", and Quinn had her answer.

As he opened the door, a bucket fell on him, filled with several kinds of slushie, and from every corned of the room a slushie seemed to either be fired at Karofsky or explode.

Karofsky was drenched from head to toe, covered in green, red and purple liquid. The most epic slushie anyone ever saw. The spectacle was over within 10 seconds.

Quinn's mouth dropped, while everyone in the hallway started laughing hysterically, 'cause Karofsky had made more enemies than friends in his time.

Even worse, his friends were the kind of friends who thought this was extremely funny. He tried to laugh it off, but his cool exterior broke when Kurt started actually crying with laughter. Quinn rounded the corner, and Rachel appeared beside her,

"You did this?"

"Of course."

"What, of course? Why did you…"

"Revenge, first of all, for participating enthusiastically in ruining my High School days, and those of others. Second, I just really didn't like the way he treated you. That slushie was the direct catalyst. He shouldn't have thrown it."

A furious blush rose to Quinn's cheeks before she could stop it, and Rachel suddenly realized that it actually wasn't normal behaviour, but she felt a bizarre urge to protect Quinn.

"Thank you," Quinn said softly. "I guess he just didn't know that I had my own guardian angel." For the second time, Quinn wished she could touch Rachel. She had to be careful with that.

"Guardian ghost," Rachel said with a smile, before adding a little louder: "It wasn't just for you, of course. It was for the sake of High School hierarchy's and teenage unjust around the globe."

"Of course. Still thanks."

"You're welcome!" Rachel replied with a wide grin on her face.

* * *

That night, Rachel, according to her routine, sat on Quinn's bedside in the dark, watching her while she was falling asleep, sometimes singing to her.

Not tonight. Quinn was looking at her with shining eyes, and Rachel wasn't singing anymore. She was doing nothing but stare at Quinn, and Quinn just stared back.

Rachel broke the silence, but in such a soft whisper it almost seemed to make no difference at all.

"Quinn, I have been singing to you every night so far, admittedly, first without your permission, but I have reasons to believe that you thoroughly enjoyed it later. Would you be so kind to return the favour?"

"What?"

Rachel sighted. "Would you sing to me? Here Comes the Sun? Please? I know your mother is fast asleep already, it won't wake her."

"What if it does?"

"Say you couldn't sleep and were singing along to your iPod!"

It came out so swiftly, Quinn suspected that Rachel sang along to her iPod every night.

"Why do I have to sing?" Quinn moaned. "I'm tired, and it's kind of weird, just singing."

"Please? Sing it softly!"

Quinn grunted, rolled her eyes and scooted over. Rachel gave her a look.

"Well, come and lie down, then!"

Rachel decided not to ask anything, and laid down and turned to face Quinn. The blonde girl took a deep breath, and began.

_Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter_

_Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here_

_Here comes the sun, here comes the sun_

_and I say it's all right_

_Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces_

_Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here_

_Here comes the sun, here comes the sun_

_and I say it's all right_

_Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

_Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

_Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

_Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

_Sun, sun, sun, here it comes..._

_Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting_

_Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear_

_Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,_

_and I say it's all right_

_It's all right  
_

When she finished, her voice trembled through Rachel. The look of wonder in her eyes morphed into a wide smile.

"What now?" Quinn asked, exasperated.

"Oh my god, Quinn, I knew it! You should have gotten the solo! You've got a soft, sweet yet clear voice that is absolutely perfect for the spirit of this song! You have to convince Mr. Shue that you're the one who should get the solo."

"No way, Rachel!" Quinn hissed. "Tina's doing a great job, too. I'm not doing it!"

"But you would make it magical! You can make it perfect!" Rachel whined. "It's my funeral, and I want you to sing it!"

"He wouldn't ever agree. And try to imagine the look on Finn's face. He would kill me."

"Finn is not important in this matter. What is, however, is getting everything out of the performance, making it as good as it could be. So you should have auditions!"

"Auditions?"

"You'd blow them all away, Quinn! I know you would."

"Rachel—"

"Quinn, please? I'll only get one funeral. It has to be perfect."

It sounded like a ridiculous argument to Quinn, but it was like she had no choice. Quinn sighed in a way that let Rachel know she had won.

"Yes! Thank you! So, tomorrow, you should go and—"

Rachel rambled on while Quinn groaned, zoning out her voice. Again, Rachel wanted something from Quinn, and the battle was lost from the beginning. Each time she'd wanted to refuse, she found herself tongue-tied, trying to get "no" out of her mouth but knowing it was going to be a "yes" instead.

Why couldn't she refuse Rachel anything? Before, she would have taken pleasure in Rachel's unhappiness. Now she couldn't stand it anymore. Probably it was the whole feel-sorry-for-the-dead-girl thing. _Yeah, probably.

* * *

_

So that is how, the next day, Quinn was shuffling towards Mr. Shue before Glee started, a bashful look on her face.

"Mr. Shue?"

He looked up from his sheet music.

"Yes, Quinn?"

"I was wondering if I could try singing Here Comes the Sun. Like, the solo. I really want to try."

"Well… Quinn, do you want a new round of auditions? Now?"

"I do. I know it's a lot to ask for, but I would really appreciate a shot at it."

He frowned, but Quinn knew he was a sucker for people taking initiative. He turned to the rest of the Glee club.

"Alright, everyone! Quinn wants a shot at Here Comes the Sun, so we're going to have an audition round! You all will be the jury. Tina, would you mind going first?"

Tina sung it like she always did, and everyone clapped for her. Quinn felt nerves bubbling in her stomach, but Rachel was there, never taking her eyes from Quinn. She couldn't back out now.

"Ready?" Puck asked her.

"I guess so."

Her eyes found Rachel's during the intro and she barely looked away. She hardly noticed the enthusiastic applause at the end. She sat down in front of Artie and Tina afterwards, and looked up at them.

"You deserve it," Tina said simply. "But next time don't wait so long, okay?"

Quinn gave her a sly grin, but before she could answer Mr. Shue got out the hat and announced it was time to cast their vote.

He counted, and said: "With a score 8 to 3… Quinn will be singing Here Comes the Sun!"

Mercedes hugged her sideways. "Good job, girl!".

She could see Rachel, who sat next to her, and her wide set grin, but then a loud noise broke through and she saw Finn, standing.

"I don't believe this!" he yelled. "This is Rachel's funeral we're talking about! If there is one person who shouldn't be singing there, it's you! You hated her! You have no right!"

He kicked Rachel's chair away under her, and yelled:

"How can you all do this? She made Rachel's life a hell!"

"Chill out, bro," Puck said sharply. "This is Glee club. It's different here. And all of us have treated her badly or made fun of her behind her back. You too, dude!"

"Not like she did!"

"You dumped her too with some lame excuse. That's not cool."

"You broke up with her first!"

For the first time that anyone could remember, Puck blushed.

"Actually," he muttered, "she broke up with me."

For a second, Finn was silent. Quinn rose, and started:

"Finn—". His anger immediately returned.

"You're not singing at her funeral! You are a bitch, Quinn, and she deserves better!"

Quinn was ghostly pale by now, and looked to her right. There was Rachel, fuming. She walked up to Finn and tried to poke his chest. Her hand went straight through. Despite everything Rachel had said, Quinn still felt her stomach turn at that.

"Stop talking to her like that, Finn Hudson! This is Glee club and we are all equal, and if you only knew what I know now, you wouldn't—"

It was too much for Quinn, and she was a little relieved when Finn stormed out. After taking a moment, she said: "I'm going to talk to him."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Quinn," Mercedes tried, but Quinn was already gone. Of course, Rachel appeared.

"What is with everybody?" She yelled, still upset. "First Sue, then Karofsky, now Finn! Is everybody out to get you or something? Now I have to figure out how to teach Finn a lesson, too!"

"Why?"

Rachel stared at Quinn with wonder in her eyes, like it was obvious. Her expression slowly changed after that, into stunned.

Quinn added: "What, are you like, protecting me or something? Do you think I need you to protect me?"

"Quinn, no, I can-"

"Okay, why then?"

"I don't know," Rachel muttered softly, looking down. Her eyes went strangely hazy, and Quinn wasn't sure what was going un until she realized…

"Are you… crying?"

"Do you see tears standing in my eyes?" Rachel said in a muffled voice.

"No, but you can't really cry, like, tears, 'cause there's no water in your body, right?"

"So, for all the reasons you have just named, I in fact cannot cry, which makes your question both foolish and irrelevant."

"I said you can't cry _tears_. Why are you crying?" Quinn said. She felt irritation bubbling beneath the surface.

"It's nothing you should worry yourself about." Rachel kept her head down, and said: "I'm gonna go now, Quinn. Please, leave Finn be for now. He's just upset and would probably hurt you needlessly. Go back and say you couldn't find him."

Quinn's irritation disappeared instantly, her mood swinging faster than back when she was pregnant.

"Where are you going?" _What is there for you but me?_

"I am only going somewhere peaceful and quiet, so quite obviously, somewhere that is not here. Goodbye, Quinn."

Within the blink of an eye, Rachel was gone. Quinn was left in the hallway, feeling stunned, and didn't return to Glee, nor did she go to look for Finn, unable to get her limbs to move. She just stood still until the bell rang, stricken by the emptiness that suddenly surrounded her.

* * *

**AN 2: And here goes the weird little idea in my head for a future Quinn/Rachel story!**

** Rachel is destined to be a superstar and do all kind of good things. Sometimes, people who are meant to do special things, but need something like an extra push, are assigned a Guardian Angel. That's Quinn. Quinn is tied to Rachel from birth, and literally lives for Rachel. During High School, her job is to make Rachel get a tough skin, so she could handle the big bad world later in life, which is where all the bullying comes from. Later, we kind of see Quinn befriending Rachel, and by the end of High School they're actual friends.  
**

**We REALLY start in New York, right after High School. Quinn is Rachels best friend then, because she is supposed to help her through the rough times and rejections on the road to stardom, being super protective. Rachel falls in love with Quinn, and Quinn can't ever really love anyone outside of Rachel due to the "guardian angel/charge" connection, so loves Rachel back. Quinn is taken away from Rachel, because guardian angels aren't supposed to be part of their charges' destiny, just the force that guides them toward it. Enter drama :)**

**The whole "Guardian Angel" idea is kind of an alternative version of a Whitelighter, from the old TV-show "Charmed", just in case anyone knows it. So, what do you think? :)  
**


	7. I Lost It In Myself

**AN: Happy 2011, Faberry shippers :) longest chapter of the whole story! After this only 2 more chapters to go, and I feel like it's just unfolding! This chapter deals with Beth. I hope everyone likes it. Lyrics taken from Dead Man's Will by Iron and Wine. Not sure if the next update is going to be tomorrow or Tuesday. But well, this chapter is like 4000 words so it should get you through the day either way. Enjoy, and if you have anything to say, or if you don't really have anything to say, leave a review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything I may refer to.

* * *

**

_~ I lost it in myself and buried it too long ~_

Rachel was in an empty backyard. There was a lawn, some trees, a tire swing and for the rest it was empty. The house had been vacant for 3 years now. She wasn't exactly sure why, '_But_,' she thought, going for the tire swing, _'From today on you can say it is a haunted house, haunted by a 16-year old girl who died too young and never left this earth._'

She felt the ridiculous desire to howl. Mostly to see if the wind would carry her voice, or if it would just fade. It was probably the last one. Perhaps she should try screaming, for immediate relief. What should she scream?

Immediately, Quinn came to her mind, the source of all these new frustrations, because being dead had not been enough. It felt difficult to be away from her now, like there were a thousand strings tying her to Quinn, and they were all straining now, trying to pull her back in.

That was exactly why she needed to get away. This was no good. She closed her eyes and resisted the pull. It scared her. It was unlike anything she had ever known or felt when she was alive. She had been willing to hurt Finn today. Finn, of all people! And over what?

Quinn was right to ask Rachel why she was doing all this. Rachel didn't know herself. It felt like every time she saw someone hurt Quinn, her insides turned to ice, then fire. It felt logical to her: It's easy, you don't hurt Quinn Fabray. You just don't.

But some people did. She immediately felt the need to tell them off, punish them, hurt them for hurting her. It felt… instinctive. Like the right thing to do. No, the only thing to do.

Something tugged on her insides yet again and she buried her face in her hands. Quinn was supposed to help her, be her ticket away from earth. Instead, with all these extra strings attached, she was more tied down to earth than ever.

She wasn't sure when the exact moment was that it happened, or how, especially in this short period of time, but Rachel had gotten to know and come to love Quinn Fabray. She lifted her head again.

This, she knew, was nothing if not doomed. If she wanted to get out of here, she had to cut every string that tied her down. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go, but knew it was what she was going to try to do. She needed to move on. Now. So… She needed to create her personal hell on earth first.

She couldn't risk any more contact with Quinn. She had to cut loose, ignore the strings pulling her towards the blonde, and focus on everything unearthly. Or she really would be the ghost who could never leave, for all eternity tied down to earth, only bound to follow a person who could never love her back.

_

* * *

_

Quinn felt annoyed. She was once again at the point where she expected Rachel tot pop up everywhere. Only this time, she was needlessly worried as well. Rachel was a ghost. She couldn't get hurt. Nothing could happen.

But even as she told herself that, she felt the worried know in her stomach tighten. Quinn was on her way home now. She'd seen Burt Hummel arriving and take Finn away from school, and after that she just wanted to go home herself. Unfortunately, she was nearly too distracted to drive.

Part of her had been sure, she'd see Rachel at home, and when Rachel wasn't there, the worries intensified. If not here, than where?

The horrible thought struck her. What if Rachel was gone for good? What if she had moved on?

_She couldn't have. I'm not finished with her yet._

But what exactly there was left to do, Quinn couldn't name either.

It wasn't until after 1 AM that Quinn managed to fall asleep, and even then, she was plagued by nightmares.

* * *

_She was old and had died, but couldn't leave yet. She had to see Beth one last time. She searched around Lima – Shelby had promised to contact her if either she or Beth left the town, and it looked like they had stayed in Lima, too – and Quinn searched the yellow pages, every phone book for her name._

_Then she searched the shops and stores, hospitals, anything._

_When she walked past the psychiatric hospital, something told her not to skip it, even though the option was nearly too horrible to even think about. There, room 137, was her name: Corcoran, Beth._

_She slipped through the doors, through the hallways, until she was where she needed to be. After a second of hesitation, she slipped through the locked doors, though scared of what she might find._

_She found a girl, around 16, with her eyes open on her bed. Quinn was old, and Beth must have been in her 50's at least, by logic, but Quinn knew her daughter when she saw her. That angsty teenage girl was Beth._

_Her face was vague. Quinn was looking straight at her, desperate to see what her child looked like, but somehow couldn't make out any specifics, no matter how hard she looked.  
Then the girl spoke. "Mom? Mom!"_

_Quinn stretched out her arms and Beth came to her and… ran right through her. She turned around, and Beth's face was contorted in an expression of angry frustration and… pain._

_"You're one of them!"_

_"One of who, sweetie? I'm your mother, your mom!"_

_"No! You're a ghost, a dead person, you're in my mind! You don't exist, it's your fault I'm here!"_

_"No, Beth, I'm dead. You can see me, because you are supposed to. I had to see you, say goodbye."_

_"Stop! You're not real, you don't exist, stop talking to me! Someone help!"_

_"Honey, I can explain. Seeing ghosts runs in the family, and—"_

_"I can't trust you! You're in my screwed up head! Everyone says I shouldn't listen to the dead, because they aren't real. Why didn't you tell me this when you were alive, and I could still believe you?"_

_"I… don't know. What are you doing in here?"_

_Quinn looked around. Afterwards, she couldn't recall anything but the colour white._

_"It's your fault! I'm talking to you, my dead mother. I talk to dead people. I'm insane!"_

_"You're not! All the women in our family can do what you can. It's not just you."_

_"Well, you're too late! You've never said anything, mom. It's your fault I'm in here now."_

_Beth faded from her sight, but Quinn was still in the white room, now 16 again herself._

_Her mother was suddenly next to her._

_"I couldn't let this happen to you, Quinnie… you understand. What mother wants that for her daughter?"_

_Her voice sounded exceptionally vague. Quinn was still confused, focused on her daughter, but Beth was nowhere to be seen. Judy continued._

_"You have to be normal, Quinn. There is no other option."_

_Quinn's attention shifted to her mother._

_"But… I'm not normal," Quinn said slowly. "It's a lie."_

_"Then lie to the world and hide who you are. It's for the best."_

_"Always lie? To everybody?"_

_"You must. There is no other option."_

_Suddenly, there was a voice against her ear, accompanied by a hot breath which made her shiver. It sounded close, nearby, unlike her mother's, almost reverberating through her._

_"Follow me."_

_A hand smaller – wait, smaller? – than hers settled in her hand. A slight tug was enough to wake the rare need of following instead of leading inside Quinn. She looked up. Rachel's face was the first sharp, clear thing she had seen yet._

_"Where are we going?"_

_"Choir room."_

_"…Why are we going to the choir room?"_

_"Desperate times, Quinn. You need a desperate measure. You are obviously in great need of a little Glee in your life right now."_

_They walked through a quite random door that had appeared out of nothing, and suddenly they were actually in the choir room. Quinn was barely surprised._

_"Rachel, why did you bring me here? What if Beth comes back?"_

_"She won't. I brought you here so you can be yourself. It seems you need Glee to do that."_

_Rachel started walking around, fidgeting with the equipment. Quinn just stood there, just fidgeting._

_"You should really try and relax, Quinn."_

_"How am I supposed to do that?" Quinn snapped. "My mom… my daughter! Beth…"_

_"Just relax, breathe. It is critical you are calm for you to be yourself."_

_"It's not that easy! I don't know who I am, and neither do you. What if either of us regrets it, bringing out the real me?"_

_It sounded barely like English to her own ears, but Rachel seemed to understand. She stopped walking around and looked at Quinn, smiling._

_"But that's where you are wrong! How can you not see? I know the real you! You can try and deny it, but I know this for a fact."_

_Rachel was standing in front of her now, still smiling._

_"How can you, when I don't even know me?"_

_"You are yourself with me, it is easy as that. So now I know you, better than you think I do. I know who you are, what you like, and what you want."_

_"Then tell me, Rachel. Please tell me, what do I want?" Quinn's irritation was building, and doubts were twisting inside of her. Doubts that Rachel somehow knew her as well as the girl obviously thought she did._

_"Oh, that's the easy part." Rachel's smile widened, and she opened her arms in a Broadway gesture. "Me!"_

_"What? Get your head checked, man-hands!"_

_"It is true. I know you need me to deny it, but I refuse to do so. Don't move and try to relax, you'll see for yourself. I'll prove it tp you."_

_Quinn thought she had never been further from relaxation in her life, but Rachel put her arms around her, and Quinn found herself melt into the touch, muscles relaxing._

_She closed her eyes and waited, feeling torn between having a full-scale panic attack and finding herself in the garden of heaven. Hot breaths fell against her trembling lips, and she both heard and felt the other pair of lips murmur:_

_"Just relax, Quinn. And be yourself."_

_A soft pair of lips lightly touched hers, grazing her own.

* * *

_

Quinn woke, but one name on her lips.

**"Rachel!"**

* * *

On the other side of town, Rachel had closed her eyes in a weak attempt to feign sleep. She had decided to do nothing but wait. Just wait until she would move on. She heard her name.

**"Rachel!"**

She knew the voice at once and opened her eyes, only to confirm she was in Quinn's bedroom. The 5th time already that she'd accidentally transported to Quinn's side that night. Every time she lost her focus, she'd find herself here.

It was getting on her nerves. It kind of made avoiding the girl hard. Then she saw the pained and panic-stricken look on Quinn's face, and everything else disappeared. She forgot about everything, about ever avoiding Quinn in the first place. Everything but the fierce desire to keep Quinn safe.

"What's wrong, Quinn? Did you have a nightmare?"

Quinn's breaths were laboured, everything inside her was still in the dream. It was a difficult transition to make.

"Rachel? Are you… here?"

"Of course I am! Why else would you call out my name?"

"It's… nothing. I just had a nightmare."

_Or something_. The first part definitely qualified as a nightmare. The second part, she wasn't sure what that was or where it came from yet.

"What was it? Unless you do not want to tell me, which would be perfectly understandable and in which case I will just respect your privacy."

Quinn told her everything up to the conversation with her mother, but made it sound like the dream had stopped there. No need for Rachel to know about the other stuff. Rachel was quiet throughout the whole thing, only commenting after Quinn had finished.

"I hadn't even thought about Beth yet. Have you told moth- Shelby?"

"So she'll have me committed? No, thank you."

"So you are just going to do nothing?"

"I don't know what to do! I don't know how to tell her, but the thought of doing nothing and keeping this possibility open is what kills me during nights like these."

"I know. I can see it." Rachel thought for a moment.

"You'll figure it out. I will help. We'll figure it out, together."

Quinn went back to sleep after that, more quiet and peaceful than she'd expected. Rachel stayed up, and set her mind to work. The solution struck her soon, and to her delight, it would possibly help her too.

Maybe the key to moving on was seeing her mother one last time. And maybe the key to Quinn's peace of mind was there too.

* * *

When she explained her plan to Quinn the next morning, the other girl reacted warily. She mostly seemed to want to forget about the whole thing. Eventually, Rachel being the persuasive girl she is, Quinn reluctantly agreed.

It was a fine idea, but part of Quinn feared what Rachel hoped; that meeting Shelby was the catalyst to sending Rachel to the other side.

She still wasn't exactly sure why, but she had noticed that she was doing the opposite of what she was supposed to do. She was sabotaging Rachel instead of helping her. Even if she was decided to help Rachel, each time it came down to it, her instincts were making her do the exact opposite.

So when Quinn agreed, it was with great reluctancy indeed. It was mostly because she knew she couldn't stop Rachel, and that if Rachel was going, Quinn would rather go with her than stay behind.

That afternoon, Quinn spent preparing and they agreed to go the day after. Rachel had completely stopped trying to avoid Quinn. Quinn needed Rachel for this. At least that was what Rachel was telling herself. Maybe it was true, she hoped it was.

* * *

The next day Quinn was driving to Shelby's house straight after school, her sweaty hands keeping the wheel in a slippery death grip, knuckles white. Rachel appeared beside her.

"Slow down." Her voice was soft and kind instead of strict and disapproving. Quinn responded by letting her left hand slip.

"Jezus! Don't scare me like that, Rachel!"

"I stopped scaring you ages ago, you're used to it by now! You reacted like this because you are so on edge. You did scare me by allowing your hand to slip, though. With this speed it is practically begging for a lethal accident! You could have gotten us both killed!"

"You're already dead, remember?"

"The rest still applies! And that doesn't mean I can't be afraid for you."

Quinn gave Rachel a look and it seemed like she was about to say something important, but Rachel couldn't contain herself.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Quinn. It is extremely dangerous to get distracted while driving and I am a statistic now."

Quinn averted her eyes with a mumbled apology, and Rachel sighed. What a way to ruin a potential movie-moment. Quinn drove the rest of the way so extremely careful, Rachel nearly felt guilty herself.

They drove to the outskirts of Lima and quickly found the address that Quinn kept on a yellow post-it, hurriedly scribbled down in Shelby's handwriting for emergencies.

Quinn seemed decided not to hesitate. She slammed the door of the car and took a couple of long steps before ringing the doorbell. It wasn't until then that she seemed to realize what she was doing, and she shot Rachel a panic-stricken look.

However, the door was already opening and there, in the doorpost, was Shelby, Beth on her arm.

"Quinn!" She said in a surprised voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I know I should have called, I'm sorry," Quinn began, speaking faster than usual. "Have you heard about-"

"I have, I'm very sorry about it. Her dads and Will Shuester called me."

"Do you know about tomorrow?"

"I do."

"Are you going to..." Quinn almost didn't dare ask. She wondered if she'd have the guts to come to Beth's funeral, after a lifetime of not knowing her daughter.

"I don't know yet," Shelby replied distantly. "You know how complex the situation is."

It had taken a while, but now Rachel caught on .

"This is about my funeral, isn't it?"

Quinn fought her instincts to reply out loud and gave Rachel a tiny nod.

"Well, I thought it should speak for itself that my biological mother, who shares my blood, should come to say goodbye!"

Quinn fought a smile and said: "I think you should come. I'd want to. And I think Rachel would have wanted you to come, too."

"Well, you probably knew her better than I did," Shelby said. She paused, repositioning the quiet baby on her arm. "I'll consider it."

"Thank you. But actually, that's not what I came here for. I came because of Beth."

She noticed Shelby clutching the child a little tighter. "What is it? Do you want to come in?"

"I'd rather not," Quinn said quickly. The thought of seeing Beth's nursery, something she'd imagined several times in her head, was simply too painful to even consider.

"I have a favor to ask you. Remember how you made Rachel that tape? Well, I wrote Beth a letter. I would very much appreciate it if you didn't read it, like Rachel's dads never listened to that tape, but if you could give it to her when she's... 9."

With an understanding smile, Shelby took the letter from Quinn. Quinn's mouth got dry as she tried to take her eyes from the little girl that had her eyes closed. She finally tore her eyes away, realizing her heart was pounding and she was breathing heavily. Shelby was looking sympathetically at her.

"I know what you're going through, Quinn. I'll do it, I know how hard it is. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No thank you," Quinn said quietly. "Just come tomorrow."

"We'll see. I'll try, alright?"

Quinn swallowed painfully before nodding, mumbling a goodbye and stalking back to her car, not hearing Shelby's soft: "Goodbye, Quinn."

* * *

Quinn sped away in her car, her eyes filled with tears nearly brimming over. This time, she wasn't shocked to find Rachel beside her. Rachel's voice was filled with sympathy, like her mother's had been just moments ago.

"Pull over."

Quinn didn't react audibly, but her lower lip started trembling. She bit it to keep it still.

"Quinn, you are a danger to everyone around you right now. Your behavior is reckless. Look at what happened to me. Really, how many times do we have to go over this, miss Fabray?"

She received a tiny smile. Quinn, torn between the desire to get as far away from Shelby and her daughter as possible and the knowledge that she shouldn't drive right now, caved because of Rachel's soft tone and pulled over.

The second the motor fell quiet, the first tear fell. She looked at Rachel who had a hand stretching to touch Quinn, looking sorrowful herself.

"You've been alive for so long and I knew you all that time, and I never touched you in a friendly way, and now I just wish you could hold me. I feel like I've wasted all that time that you were alive," Quinn blurted out.

She was a little shocked at herself for admitting it, and Rachel seemed equally astonished, but recovered quickly.

"I know, Quinn. I feel the same." Quinn suddenly felt the foolish desire to reach out and touch Rachel's hand stronger than ever before. Just to see... but she wasn't stupid. And when her hand would pass through - which she knew darn well it would - it would hurt her and puzzle Rachel.

Instead, she grabbed a tissue from her purse, wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"Are you mad I told you to go?"

"No," Quinn choked out. "It's better. Sorry for you though," she shot Rachel a look. "I know you hoped."

"There was never a great chance... I didn't think she was the reason I was stuck on earth." _Now more than ever. She's not enough._

"I know. But you had hope anyway."

Rachel looked away, locking her eyes on the dashboard. "I always do."

There was a silence, while Quinn wiped more tears and blew her nose again. Rachel said in her typically upbeat tone: "You think she's coming tomorrow?"

"Well, I would, but I don't know. You need to stop talking about your funeral like it's a party, though. Why the hell are you so excited?"

"It's all about me! You know how admittedly self-centered I can be, and I cannot wait to see how sad everyone will be because of my demise. And I'm thinking that that probably will be the cue for me to move on. Isn't that what you said?"

"Maybe it won't be. You just said you don't know why you're stuck here. You could be here for ages!"

"What? You told me most ghosts can move on after their funeral!"

"It's not a guarantee, alright? I don't know! Maybe you won't be able to leave at all!"

"I wish to give you some useful advise on the subject of truth and tact in that case. Do not ever sound so sure of something you don't actually know again, because it does nothing but giving a ghost false hope. Especially not if you want to shoot it down brutally later. It is mentally destructive."

Quinn's jaw was clenched. There were a million hurtful remarks at the tip of her tongue, the kind that old Quinn used to say, the kind that would destroy Rachel easily and thoroughly.

But this really wasn't Rachel's fault, despite what Quinn was trying to convey. She gritted her teeth, frustrated with her own, stupid behavior.

If she had been a bigger person, she'd be hoping Rachel would be able to move on tomorrow, so Rachel would be happy. But she was Quinn Fabray, so she never was the bigger person.

She'd rather have Rachel less happy with her, than a delighted Rachel saying goodbye, and she couldn't stand the thought, much less Rachel talking about it like it was the party of a lifetime.

She started her car.

"I'm sorry," she lied. "I hope you can move on tomorrow."_ We both can._


	8. Knocking On Heavens Door

**AN: OMG! Only 1 chapter to go after this one! I hope everyone likes and enjoys this, if so, or if not, let me know through a review? Please? :) Chapter title taken from Knocking on Heavens Door by Bob Dylan!  
**

* * *

That night, when Rachel appeared beside her, Quinn was crying, soft sobs sporadically breaking through the silent darkness of her room.

"What's wrong, Quinn?"

"It's nothing," Quinn's muffled voice sounded.

"Please don't lie to me and don't speak to your pillow," Rachel replied. "Is it seeing Beth again today?"

"Yes," Quinn lied into her pillow again.

"Of course it is beyond me to truly be able to emphasize, but this does not entail sympathy. You most know that I believe it is extremely courageous and admirable of you-"

"Shut up," Quinn's muffled voice came again.

Rachel paused. "I fully understand if you want to be alone right now, Quinn."

Quinn's face unearthed from the mountain of pillows, and even in the darkness Rachel could make out the shimmering of the paths her tears had taken.

"That's the problem. I don't want to be alone."

She sat up a little more, and though Rachel was dying to ask something, anything to make Quinn explain, she kept her mouth shut, begging Quinn silently to speak up and explain herself.

"This doesn't mean that it wasn't really painful, seeing Beth today, but... well, I guess you can pride yourself and be happy. One more person crying over you."

If Rachel's heart had still been beating, it's pace would have picked up at those words.

"What did I do to make you cry? I can promise you that whatever it is that saddens you, it was not on purpose, since I have never done anything with the intention to hurt you."

"It's stupid," Quinn muttered, mostly to herself. "I'm sorry, you can't help it either. It's just... it's stupid. I mean, we've become such great friends after you died, and now I like... care about you. And maybe you'll be able to move on tomorrow, and that's good for you and all, but... now that I care for you like this, it's kind of like you'll die for me, too."

Rachel gave her a small, sympathetic smile and sat down on Quinn's bed. A weak, ancient instinct of Quinn's wanted to close down and shy away, but then Rachel was suddenly lying down beside her, giving Quinn her most innocent and disarming look. The blonde was done for.

"Quinn, you have lived many years disliking me. Even though these days were as good as they could have been, I'm sure that, even though it seems improbable now, they will slip from your mind impossibly fast, and you'll forget all about them." Rachel's smile dropped at her own words.

"You don't know, Rach. I mean, like, you have no idea. I don't think that's possible."

"You say this now, but by this time next year, I'll only be in your mind as the most annoying girl from your school who died a horrible death. You'll block it out, and it'll be easy for you, since you block everything out."

"I don't block you out," Quinn amended with a slight frown. Did Rachel really believe that?

"Not anymore, but it took long enough for you to let me in," Rachel said, leaning in, scooting closer to Quinn.

Quinn wanted to answer, but forgot her words, staring at Rachel. Her eyes were shining, and her hair was messy. Quinn knew, _knew _it was impossible, but she would have sworn she could feel Rachel's quick breaths on her face, even smell a sweet scent that she didn't really know, yet at the same time was kind of familiar.

Rachel lifted her hand, and Quinn thought for the slightest of seconds that Rachel would touch her and she would feel the small hand on her, but the former star-to-be straightened her already perfect hair instead.

"You should try and go to sleep, Quinn. I need you to perform flawlessly tomorrow. I swear, if you get one note wrong, I will haunt you for the rest of your life."

_Does that mean you won't leave?_

Quinn bit her lip and took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

"Sleep," the soft voice came from beside her. Her eyes met Rachel's, and Rachel held her gaze.

"Sleep," Rachel repeated.

"Sleep," Quinn said mockingly. "How am I supposed to do that when you're looking at me?"

Rachel tore her eyes away from Quinn. "Just close your eyes, but don't expect me not to look at you. You're by far the best thing to look at."

Everything in Quinn felt twitchy, as if Rachel was closer than she seemed - and that was quite close already - and she could have everything that she wanted, even if she didn't knew what it was. That it was within her reach. And would be gone tomorrow.

She screwed her eyes tightly together, and focused on the sound of Rachel's breathing, and after a few seconds her musical voice singing a lullaby.

And slowly, slowly her heartbeat slowed down, her body became less tense, her breathing evened out and she felt her consciousness slipping, still feeling like she was wasting her last night with Rachel away.

* * *

The next morning, Rachel was there when she woke up. That was a rare occasion - Rachel usually joined her on her ride to school, giving Quinn a little privacy - but she found she didn't mind. Rachel was pale, even for a ghost.

"Goodmorning, Quinn."

"Goodmorning. How are you feeling?"

Rachel swallowed. "I don't know. Nervous, a little bit excited, and too many other things to name. I can't put a label on my state of mind right now."

"I guess that's normal."

"I usually let you have your privacy in the morning, as you know. I believe it is the decent thing to do, giving you a few moments for yourself before..."

"Before stalking me and being present everywhere I go for the rest of the day?"

"Well, yes. But today, I can't even give you that." Rachel bit her lip. "I'm very sorry, but I'm going to need you so much today, you can't leave me alone for even a minute. I swear that I will go insane and have a full-scale panic attack, and I'll make rash decisions and do things I regret. It would be better if I have you. It makes it so much more bearable."

"Alright," Quinn said. "Of course. I'm here. I can't even... it's fine, Rachel."

Rachel nodded. "Good."

Quinn's strategy for the day was not thinking about anything, keeping distance from her surroundings, like she was a ghost too. She rubbed her eyes, and went to her closet to take out a black dress.

"You're not wearing black, are you?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. It's a funeral."

"Yes, but this is not just any funeral. This is my funeral. Which requires color and spectacle."

Quinn shook her head, suppressing a grin. "Even though you're you, a funeral is still a funeral. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'd stand out a little too much if I went in a rainbow-coloured dress."

"No rainbow, just, red or purple. Those colors look very good on you, I believe."

"I would do it for anything but this. It's just not appropriate."

"Alright," Rachel said. "What about yellow?"

In the end, Rachel got her way a little bit, when Quinn put on a black dress but accessorized it with purple earrings, a purple purse, purple heels and a purple scarf. Quinn had drawn the line at a purple hat.

Quinn drove to the cemetery in silence, Rachel in the passenger's seat. Even Rachel had run out of things to say. The whole thing would take place outside, the performance too, it would be with just Puck's acoustic guitar and everyone singing, no speakers.

The sky was grey, but it looked like the sun could peek through later. Quinn hoped it wasn't going to rain.

They arrived, and got out of the car silently, walking to the spot where Quinn saw a couple of Glee clubbers and a few others. There were seats placed on the grass, and Rachel took one in the very front. Quinn sat beside her.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes." Rachel said, but her eyes were sad. "But I must admit that it is more real now, it's different, being here. Everyone is just so sad. I had expected more of a celebration of my life."

"Perhaps there will be an after party to make up for it. Wine coolers at Puck's place," Quinn joked. Rachel smiled a little. "I hope I'll have moved on by then. It has to happen now, or I won't know what else to do."

More people came. Quinn noted Sue Sylvester, in an all black training suit, leaning against a wall a few feet away from the scene, and after a few minutes Shelby joining her there.

"Well, at least there's a lot of interest. See, Shelby showed!"

Rachel nodded and bit her lip. Quinn suddenly saw she was twitching like she was nervous for something.

"What's up? Are you afraid you won't... you won't be able to move on?" Quinn asked, fighting to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"That too," Rachel spoke, slowly. Then she turned to face Quinn. The look in her eyes was near panic, and it scared Quinn a little bit.

"What, what is it? It's not happening right now, is it? You're not going yet, you can't be! It hasn't even started yet!"

"Quinn, what if they don't like me? I know I've never been popular or generally liked like you. I'm annoying and I know that. And I always thought I'd make the memory better by being successful, but now I'm going down as the irritating girl. What if nobody cries and everyone is just glad that they're rid of me? What if nobody says anything nice?"

"Rachel, they won't! You've seen how upset everyone was after they got the news."

"Yes, but that was then. What about now? Maybe nobody misses me, maybe I won't ever be missed, and everyone now just thinks that this is a blessing in disguise!"

The fear was very real, and Quinn didn't know how to convince her that it wasn't the case.

"Well, I'll miss you. I'll miss you ever day, and every day I'll pray that you got to heaven safely and that I'll see you when I get there. I'll be as good as I can, I'll try to be as good as you are, to make it to heaven so I can spend my entire death with you to make up what I've missed of your life."

Quinn didn't know where it came from. It came from the same place that sometimes imagined a future with Rachel, a future that never would take place, and she wasn't sure what that part was. She could tell however, that it felt not only good to acknowledge her thoughts, but also to speak them.

She knew it made her feel warm from the inside out. It made her feel good, better than she'd ever felt before, so it probably was a good place.

She'd expected Rachel to beam at her - it was exactly the kind of thing Rachel loved to hear, and she was already waiting for Rachel's releasing smile to come - but Rachel's frown deepened.

"When you say stuff like that, Quinn, do you actually mean it or do you just say it to make me feel better? It's only been 10 days."

"10 days apparently was all it took, probably because during those 10 days, we were kind of inseparable. I'm not sure what the turning point was, but we're friends now. More than that, really. I've never opened myself up to anyone like that before."

Rachel seemed to believe her, and the smile Quinn had been waiting for stretched across her face.

"I'm glad you're telling me this, Quinn. It's good to know you'll miss me at the very least."

_I already know I'll miss you more than I should_, Quinn thought. But that was also more than she cared to admit.

The ceremony began. Some Jewish dude who barely knew Rachel gave a speech about hope and moving on, and one of Rachel's dad's gave a speech. His voice cracked so much that you could barely understand him at times, but he got the point across.

Finn gave a speech. It was short but genuine, full of emotion, but he didn't cry. Quinn noticed that Rachel's bottom lip was firmly tucked between her teeth throughout the whole thing, and suddenly felt like she wanted to scream at everyone about what had happened the last 10 days, that it wasn't just Finn who could claim her as "someone who really mattered to Rachel".

"Rachel, I meant it, and I still do. I really love you. Everyone here does, probably. Now we'd like to tribute a song to Rachel with our Glee club. Nobody will ever sing like you, Rach, and it's hard to sing without you, but here it goes. Can I please ask the rest of Glee club to join me?"

Intricate harmonies mixed in a mostly acapella version of Here Comes the Sun. A few people were crying, but the Glee clubbers were all too into the song. It was the only tribute to Rachel they could ever really do, and nobody wanted messing _that _up on their conscious.

When it was over, there was no applause, and Quinn slid back into her seat next to Rachel, waiting.

Waiting.

Still waiting.

_Please, God, don't let her be-_

"Good job," Rachel said. "You sang it beautifully. It was a worthy tribute."

_Thank God._

The casket was closed, and Quinn was glad for it. She probably couldn't handle one dead Rachel in the casket, and one talking Rachel beside her. When they lowered the casket into the grave, Quinn couldn't imagine a body lying in it. It was too unreal to think that Rachel was in there.

After that, everybody soon stalked off to the reception. It was very possible that after that, there would indeed be some kind of "after party" with everybody drinking consciousness away at Puck's. Within a few minutes, the cemetery was empty, nobody left but Quinn and Rachel.

* * *

_~ Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door ~  
_

"I guess this is it then," Rachel said, looking up at the sky expectantly. Quinn's heart was pounding painfully hard against her chest. She needed to say something, but she didn't know what to say, or how to start.

Was it just the sunlight, or was Rachel actually getting vaguer?

"Don't I even get a goodbye?" The words tumbled out of Quinn's mouth in such a high tempo she wasn't sure if Rachel had understood what she'd said.

Rachel stayed quiet, still looking up at the sky. Quinn's heart started beating a little faster, even though that seemed nearly impossible. Rachel was taking deep breaths, even though technically she didn't need to breathe.

Quinn was nearly panting. She wasn't getting vaguer, she wasn't disappearing from Quinn's sight.

Rachel closed her eyes, shutting them tightly, making herself as tall as possible, nearly willing herself to heaven.

Quinn stood there, hoping, wishing with every fiber of her being that Rachel would fail, that the girl wouldn't move on, but would stay with Quinn. Quinn hoped she had been wrong.

They stood there for what felt like an eternity. Rachel waiting to move on, Quinn praying it wouldn't happen.

It was an hour later. An hour of quiet waiting, when the sun started setting. Quinn was sitting down indian style now. Rachel was frozen, like a statue.

"Rachel," Quinn whispered, her voice sounding raw because of her dry throat.

Rachel blinked, but gave no other reaction.

"Rachel, I don't think it's going to happen tonight. I think that you're not ready yet. Maybe you still have some unfinished business, or something tying you to earth. But it's time to give up now. Time to go home."

It looked like it was physically painful to do it, but Rachel tore her gaze away from the sky.

"I don't have a home, remember? I'm not supposed to stay here, and... do what, roam? Watch while other people move on and live their lives without me in them?"

"Obviously you're not supposed to go yet either," Quinn said in a spiky voice, irritated with Rachel because the girl refused to see the obvious.

"I am! I've got to be! I cannot stay!"

Quinn felt torn. She knew she had to help Rachel, but also knew that she wanted - needed - the other girl to stay. In the end, getting Rachel from the cemetery became Quinn's priority.

"This isn't going to work, Rachel. We both know it. Stop trying, just, come with me, and after you've calmed down we'll make a list of things that could be keeping you here, and I'll help you to move on. We'll go past every item of the list until we've figured it out. But please, just come now!"

Rachel met Quinn's eyes now, for the first time since the funeral.

'I already know what's tying me down," she said in a solemn voice, allowing the wind to take her away.

"What? You do? Rachel, why didn't you-"

But Rachel was gone, and Quinn was left with a ton of bricks weighing down her heart.

_~ All my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming ~_


	9. And In The End

**AN: Hello :) the end. Here we go. I hope everyone will like it. Thank you all so very much for your support, reviews and general awesomeness. Remember: you, dear reader, can be the drive behind a writer. Chapter title taken from Death and All His Friends by Coldplay, other lyrics taken from Ghost by Laura Marling. Enjoy the chapter! Oh, and please notice the change in ratings ;)

* * *

**

_~ And in the end, we lie awake  
And dream of making our escape ~_

Quinn cried, and cried, but it brought no relief. The tears spurred on nothing but more tears. Her mother comforted her, but didn't know what in Quinn was spurring on the tears, so all she could really do was hug Quinn. Quinn was glad to have even that.

She fell asleep, still crying, her pillow wet with tears.

Rachel sat on Quinn's bedside, looking at the uneasily sleeping girl. After the cemetery, she'd gone to the Haunted House, as she called it now in her mind, to wait and then wait some more. But of course, she ended up where she always did. By Quinn's side.

She knew nothing was going to happen. She knew she was tied down to earth. She knew what was tying her down, too. It was the girl she was looking at right that moment.

Her ticket away from here was the reason she was now bound to stay. Her fate was to love Quinn every moment of forever, never being able to do anything about it.

Even if they'd both been alive it was an impossible relationship, let alone now, with so much more than just clashing personalities between them.

Quinn made her feel alive, ironically enough. The girl made her feel more human than ghost, and that was wrong. Blonde hair moved, and Quinn was now lying on her back, mouth slightly opened and snoring lightly.

Rachel couldn't hold back an adoring smile. If Beth was going to look anything like her mother, the girl was going to be a real heartbreaker some day.

A deep sigh left her lips, and she leaned closer to Quinn, studying her features in the pale moonlight that was stroking her face. Rachel never thought that the cliche "So close, yet so far away" would every apply to her this directly.

She leaned in closer, studying a few freckles, before closing her eyes. She could _feel _Quinn's breath on her face. Opening her eyes, Quinn was closer than she'd ever been, closer than she should have been. Close enough to do the thing she'd wanted to do for days, days that felt like forever already.

She leaned in and kissed Quinn, closing her lips over Quinn's upper lip. She repeated the movement again and again, loving how her mind seemed to imagine the feeling of Quinn's lips so well.

The lips started moving beneath hers, a soft, crooning moan escaping from the girl beneath her, and suddenly a hand was fisted itself in her hair and another pair of lips were deepening the kiss.

Rachel shot back while Quinn whispered a soft: "Yes, Rachel" before officially waking up and stared into a wide-eyed Rachel, still leaning over her a little.

"Rachel?"

"Yes it's me! Who else did you think it was, if you whispered "Yes, Rachel!" before waking up!"

"I thought I was dreaming!"

"You dream about me kissing you?"

She spotted Quinn's blush in the moonlight.

"It's more likely than you actually kissing me, don't you think?" She sneered in a nasty voice.

Rachel's look softened.

"We shouldn't be fighting. Do you realize that this means that we're in love with each other?"

Quinn dropped her hands and looked away.

"Yes, it does, Quinn! You can see that, can't you? It's the only I'd be able to do all this," Rachel said, cupping Quinn's face with her hand and turning it toward her.

"It's ridiculous, Rachel," Quinn said. "That's the most improbable thing I've ever heard."

"Alright, how would you explain this, then?"

"I'm sorry, Rachel, but isn't it obvious that I really don't want to have this conversation with you?"

"Well, I think we should."

"Of course you do. But what's there to say? Now we have all these feelings involved that shouldn't be. You're dead. I'm alive. End of story."

"Don't you think we should talk about this?" Rachel said, her thumbs drawing circles on Quinn's shoulders. Quinn suppressed a shudder, uttering a sigh.

"I really don't."

"I can't force you to talk to me, Quinn," Rachel told the blonde. "I am well aware of that. I will not pressure you any further, since it would be a waste of time. However, I cannot be held responsible for my following actions, not after longing like mine."

Rachel was closing the gap between them again, just whispering: "You'll have to be the one who says stop."

"I don't think I can do that," Quinn whispered back.

Rachel pressed her body to Quinn's, lying down on top of the girl, tangling one hand in Quinn's hair. Quinn enjoyed the sensation of Rachel's noisy breaths against her face before closing the distance and pressing her lips against Rachel's.

Her hands snaked around to Rachel's back, pressing the girl painfully tight against her, deepening the kiss.

Quinn's hands were everywhere at once, trying to get all of Rachel now that she could. One hand squeezed her hip while another stroked her back, and it seemed like Quinn had grown 4 more hands at once, because she felt someone tug at her hair and cup her shoulder blade as well.

Quinn asked for permission, nipping desperately at Rachel's lips, and Rachel opened her mouth to find Quinn's tongue roughly entering it.

She released a moan and let her tongue explore Quinn's mouth thoroughly as well. Quinn was clutching the fabric of her shirt, before releasing it and letting a hand slip beneath it. She nearly sobbed with relief when she felt the soft skin. Rachel shuddered at the feel of the warm hand on her skin and started tugging on Quinn's nightgown.

Quinn pulled away, gasping for breath, and lifted her hips and arms so Rachel had the opportunity to rid Quinn of her nightgown. The streak of moonlight made Quinn's skin paler than ever, and Rachel let her hands roam over the creamy skin. Quinn pulled Rachel's shirt over the smaller girl's head.

Clothes were shed, one after the other, and within seconds it was Rachel kissing Quinn's neck while skin was touching nothing but more skin.

"Rachel," Quinn gasped. "Please."

A single, hesitant hand was trailing down her sides, and Quinn knew it's destination.

"Are you sure, Quinn?"

"Yes, please, just do something!"

Rachel rested her hand on Quinn's lower abdomen.

"I'm nervous. I've never even done this with a guy. Let alone..."

Her eyes trailed upwards to meet Quinn's. Quinn swallowed thickly. There was more in play here than her need to get off.

"I've never done this with a girl either, you know. I'm nervous too. But you're doing a really good job so far."

The hand on her abdomen gave a slight tremble and Rachel smiled.

"Thank you."

Rachel bended lower to kiss the blond girl again, lips slowly moving against each other. Quinn could feel her desire pooling below, begging her to take care of it. Rachel's hand slowly started moving lower, meeting with curls at first, and then with moist heat.

The girl pushed a finger inside, and Quinn released a moan. Growing more confident, Rachel pulled back and pushed in again, a little more forceful this time.

Setting a rhythm, she set her sight on the writhing girl beneath her, her skin shining with a thin sheen of sweat and her hair splayed across her pillow.

Rachel let her free hand travel up to flit across a nipple, and Quinn's hips bucked violently. Quietly hoping it was the right call to make, she pulled out and re-entered with 2 fingers.

Studying Quinn's facial expressions, Rachel concluded it was the right call. The world was quiet outside of Quinn's soft gasps and moans, and the sound of Rachel's hand setting their pace.

Rachel suddenly felt Quinn's walls clamming around her fingers, almost trapping them there, and Quinn came forcefully with Rachel inside her, closing her eyes tightly and shuddering from head to toe.

Rachel's hand slowed down while Quinn was riding out her orgasm, and then pulled out so she could collapse next to Quinn.

Her eyes were searching Quinn's face, seeking any kind of emotion or approval, anything really. There still were questions she wanted to ask, but when she opened her mouth Quinn put her finger to her lips in a motion to silence her, before sealing them with her own.

Soft lips traced the column of Rachel's throat, traveling to her heaving chest. A nipple disappeared into Quinn's mouth, and Rachel's hips bucked. One hand fisted itself into blonde locks.

"Is this real life?" She heard herself whisper, shattering the silence, with her voice as a hammer.

In reply, Quinn traveled back up so she could lock her gaze with Rachel's, and the shorter girl felt a hand on the inside of her thigh, slowly traveling up. Rachel had read up on sex, preparing for this moment, and knew that she wasn't in the right state of mind yet.

Her heart was fluttering with excitement, want, need and joy, but also filled with nerves and quietly sneaking doubts.

When the hand had almost wandered a path to it's destination, Rachel took it with her own to still it.

"I'm sorry, but if we're going through with this, you must say it aloud. I need to hear you say it."

Quinn didn't pretend that she didn't know what Rachel meant. She knew the silence was a little bit suffocating for Rachel, but saying felt like a large step to take, even though the truth was already out.

She tucked in her bottom lip between her teeth, hazel eyes locking with Rachel's nervous browns. Quinn pulled her hand back from between Rachel's legs to place it next to Rachel's shoulder, so she was hovering over Rachel steadily now.

"Rachel," she said in a strong whisper, "I don't really need to say it, I think. As you said yourself, this all kind of speaks for itself. _But_," she quickly said before Rachel could interrupt, "I know it matters to you. So hereby, I'll take this opportunity to declare my love to you," she said with grin. "I love you. I'll say it a thousand times if it helps. I love, love, love you."

Rachel's smile beamed up at her, and her grin widened in return.

"Thank goodness," the girl beneath her said softly. "Since I love you too - quite obviously, I guess - and neither of us is drunk, the most important requirements for losing my virginity are fulfilled. So I'm ready now, you can go ahead."

But Quinn seemed too busy looking at Rachel to actually return her hand to it's former position. So Rachel took matters in her own hand, kissed the girl passionately while guiding one hand back to it's previous destination.

As Quinn responded to her kisses, she wasted no more time and led her hand to Rachel's core, cupping it for a split second before sliding smoothly inside. Rachel moaned beneath her breath while Quinn set out to explore the girl at a slow pace. Too slow for Rachel.

"Quinn, please..." she breathed.

The girl locked eyes with her one final time, searching for permission she already had. Rachel nodded, and Quinn entered the girl with one slender finger.

A slight frown now was on Rachel's face, but the discomfort wasn't nearly as bad as she thought it would be.

"You alright?"

"Fine," Rachel whispered. "Not too rough though. Just... go easy on me."

Quinn gave a nod and started moving inside Rachel, who quickly felt any discomfort subsiding and pleasure overtaking. When Quinn entered with 2, the discomfort was there again, but the stretching didn't necessarily feel bad.

Whatever discomfort she did feel was being heavily overruled by the sensations coursing through her body.

Quinn lost her pace, focusing on Rachel's pleasure, and started moving her hand more quickly, eager to bring the other girl to her climax.

She payed close attention to Rachel's features to know when she was hurting Rachel, but the girl seemed to only find it pleasurable, and started bucking her hips wildly, pulling Quinn down for a kiss.

As tongs met in a sloppy kiss, Rachel felt herself standing on the edge, and tumbling over it when Quinn's thumb touched her clit. Her moans were swallowed by Quinn's mouth still on hers, and she still saw gold stars when Quinn pulled out.

Quinn went to lie down on her side, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Are you still fine?"

"Yes," Rachel said certainly. "And you?"

"Me too. Just tired."

"Then you should sleep," Rachel said. There was a lull in the conversation, before she added:

"I really do love you, though."

"I love you too, Rach," Quinn smiled.

"Now, sleep."

Quinn went to lie down on her side, facing the wall. She didn't think she'd ever be able to sleep again.

But when Rachel spooned her and held her close, she felt the comfort and safety warming her from the inside out, and was overtaken by the easiest, most pleasurable sleep she'd ever known.

* * *

_~ Lover, please, do not_

_Fall to your knees, it's not_

_Like I believe in everlasting love ~_

Quinn was still feeling perfectly blissful when waking up. She didn't move, didn't open her eyes, taking deep breaths and slowly coming back to the world. When she turned and found no Rachel beside her, her eyes opened and met with familiar brown orbs.

Rachel was sitting on her bedside, clothed, and had that look on her face that meant she was crying without tears.

"Rachel? Are you alright?" She asked cautiously, sitting up.

Rachel sniffled, but kept her gaze.

"What's going on, babe? Are you regretting-" the thought was too awful to finish it.

"No, no, I'm not regretting anything that passed last night. Last night was great. It was more perfect than I could have ever imagined, and I have imagined it quite a couple of times. You did nothing wrong. Here, put your nightgown on."

She handed Quinn the shed clothing and Quinn hesitantly eyed Rachel before putting it back on.

"Why are we putting on our clothes again?"

"It makes this easier."

"Makes what easier?" Quinn said. She was getting kind of tired of Rachel not telling her what was going on.

"Saying goodbye."

There was a lull in the conversation and Quinn took a deep breath.

"You're leaving?"

"I... I'm moving on. I have no choice, Quinn. It feels like the string that tied me to earth is now cut, and that the afterlife is pulling at me now. I can't stay for very much longer, I can feel it."

"So, you're stuck on earth, we have sex, and you move on?" She knew that this wasn't Rachel's fault, but it was somewhere to place the blame. Someone to vent at.

"I think I wasn't supposed to go until we fell in love, and now that we have consummated our love last night, I have fulfilled my purpose."

"Your purpose was to stand me up after sex?" Hurt was piercing her voice, tears brimming her eyes.

"That was never my intention. I never wanted to hurt you, Quinn. But I'm afraid that's what I ended up doing anyway."

A tear spilled, and Rachel wiped it away with her thumb, cradling Quinn's face.

"You can't go now, Rach," Quinn said in a choked voice. "You can't leave now! This is what we've been waiting for. We found love. We found each other. And if we were meant to be like you said, then we're supposed to be together for a long time. Like, forever!"

"I'll wait for you."

Rachel put her arms around Quinn and let the other girl sob, while she kept on muttering:

"You're right, you're right. We'll be together. I promise. I'll wait for you."

Quinn felt Rachel pulling away, and clung to her tighter.

"Quinn, it's time. I can't-"

"You can't go! I won't let you leave!"

Gently she released her shirt from Quinn's grip, cupped her chin and lifted the other girl's face to meet her eyes.

"You have to let me go."

Quinn charged forward to attack Rachel's lips with desperate kisses, to seal their unwilling goodbye. Rachel kissed back eagerly, equally desperate, but pulled away again to look up.

"I love you," Quinn said.

"I love you too."

"Please wait for me. Please, please, please."

"I will, of course I will. Don't forget about me, either."

"Like I could do that," Quinn sniffled with a tiny laugh, before attacking Rachel's mouth again.

Rachel replied, but pulled away after too little time.

"Quinn..."

"Rachel-"

"I have to go now."

"I know."

"Goodbye, Quinn."

"Bye, Rachel," Quinn said, kissing the girl softly for a last time. The form she was holding disappeared underneath her. She heard a whisper that said: "I'll wait for you, Quinn." and suddenly her hands were clutching nothing but air.

Quinn fell back on her bed and sobbed.

* * *

Quinn knew for a fact that she'd spent her entire life in Lima, and that there were a thousand memories for her there, but somehow only the ones of her 10 days with Rachel seemed to stick.

She saw the girl everywhere she went, inside her car, sitting on her bedside, lounging against the piano during Glee clutching sheet music.

It was easy to give in to her fantasies of living a life with Rachel, having the girl by her side with everything she did. And nothing was as painful as the thought that she'd only ever have that: fantasies.

Rachel had promised to wait for her, and Quinn was sure that after she died, she'd find a way to be with Rachel. Before she'd never really believed in afterlife. Now it was the only thing she clung to.

Whenever she saw a ghost, she learned to ignore it. She didn't need any more reminders than she already had.

The more she thought about it - and her entire days were spent with thinking about it - the more she realised, that she really couldn't wait to die.

She didn't see it as a depression or being suicidal, she just saw it as the only way to be with Rachel. And the more she thought about it, the more she realised that not being with Rachel was not a real option anymore. She didn't have the strength for it.

Quinn Fabray chose death in her senior year, one year after she'd met the ghost that changed her life, stating that she had nothing more to live for, and her life was awaiting in death. Not that anyone understood what that was supposed to mean.

And Quinn knew that whatever the cost, it was worth it, because she saw Rachel waiting in the lights.

~ The End ~


End file.
